老奶奶二号
这是一个爱笑的老奶奶。银白的头发和孩童般的笑容让我想起我小学最喜欢用的形容词-“和蔼可亲”。她似乎对我有种特别的好感,总在老师读我的文章的时候笑眯眯的看着我,然后在大家讨论的时候,毫不吝惜得大加赞誉,总是说我的文章如何让人身临其境,触动心灵等等,经常说得我羞答答得低下头。
滴水之恩当以涌泉相报,所以每次老师读她文章的时候,我也是大张旗鼓得抒发自己的感想。虽然有时候有点夸张,但她文章的确写得不错,我发言得时候还是比较理直气壮的。可惜的是这种“你夸我,我夸你”的礼尚往来不大好控制,双方兴奋起来容易一发不可收拾。所以最后几节课的时候,我面对老奶奶依旧慈祥的目光,自己暗自提醒自己:“要忍住,要忍住。”
第一节课的时候,老师让大家说说为什么要来上这个写作课,为什么会有写作的欲望。当时老奶奶是这样说的:在与死神打过几个招呼之后,她发现仿佛一切都不太重要了,生死的界限开始模糊;只有在她写作的时候,通过和自己的意识进行沟通,她才感到自己的存在;这种活着的感觉让她快乐。我听得有些一知半解,但依稀记得周围两三个老奶奶们都是若有所思的慢慢点头。
她的“A comfortable place”是纽约东上区70街和约克街的交界口。那也就是大家常说的“医院一条街”,得名于附近众多的医院。她的文章描述了她自从大脑手术后第一次出院的那种喜悦。她一笔带过了她的具体病情,只是说医生从她大脑里去除了一块土豆大小的肿瘤。医院里惨白的床单,沙毒水的气味,加上乏味的食物让她度日如年。某一天,医生允许她回家休养的时候,她没有等家人朋友来接她,自己就推着个小的助步器,上面挂着点滴,走上了街头。一开始她有点迷失方向,刺眼的阳光让她不知所措。虚弱的身体让每一步都变成不必要的挑战。但走着走着,一切开始变得美好,喧哗的小贩,乱按喇叭的的士,甚至连那呛鼻的香烟味道都让她感到快乐。活着真好,她自言自语道。
在描述一个行为和心理不一致的事件时,她讲述了她外婆去世的那一天发生的事情。整篇文章是以意识流的手法写的,具体描述了当时10岁的她思维的跳跃。文章开始就是她午觉醒来,发现自己在隔壁邻居格林太太家。一切显得既熟悉,也陌生。我为什么会在这里?她的思绪开始翻涌。哦,好像是我妈妈送我过来的。但为什么?为什么要送过来?奇怪,我记得她在哭?为什么妈妈突然在哭?我爸在干吗?我爸为什么抱着妈妈?我怎么突然睡在格林太太家?我讨厌别人的家,床总没有自己家的舒服。妈妈问我记不记得外婆,我当然记得。外公头发都白了,但外婆没有。外公,我想外公了。外婆的火鸡烧得很好吃,下次感恩节我再去吃。为什么格林太太这样看着我?好古怪。完了,她又要叫我吃东西了。格林太太做的东西最难吃了。她问我要不要吃东西,我真的不想吃啊。“好的,我就要土司。”我为什么要吃土司?我最讨厌吃土司了。外婆,我想外婆了。为什么妈妈在哭?我不想死。我会不会也死?外婆死了?为什么?为什么我不知道?谁也不告诉我任何东西。我死也不想吃土司。呃,这土司看上去黄黄的好恶心。吃起来更恶心。“好吃,谢谢格林太太。”我一定是疯了。我为什么要谢她?我要回家。我要妈妈。我要外婆。我不想死。我讨厌土司。我想哭。我不能哭,在别人家不能哭。格林太太看我的样子太古怪了。“我吃饱了,谢谢,我很好。”
平时我很少看意识流的文章,觉得很紊乱。但最近读了木心写的散文《哥伦比亚的倒影》,觉得还不错。这次看到同学这样写,一开始挺惊讶的。但等老师读完,发现自己很喜欢。那种天要塌下来的惊慌失措可能只有这样写,才能表达得清楚。作者的世界在旋转,思绪在跳动,我作为读者能够感受得很真切。
老太太其实很有创造力。最后的作业她用剧本的形式写的,描述困在一辆的士里面2对男女对于每年游行封道路的抱怨和提议。对白非常口语化,很纽约。具体我很难在这里重述,呵呵。
最后一节课的时候,她依依不舍的向大家发言,说她是如何喜欢所有的同学和老师,她会如何怀念我们等等。唉,不知怎么了,她说着说着,我就有点眼角湿润了。“我也会想念你的。”我对着她轻轻地说。
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Sunday, May 03, 2009
平凡的人,不平凡的故事 (2)
老奶奶一号:
她估计已经有七十五六岁了。稀疏灰白的头发和充满褶皱的脖子让人瞥到岁月的沧桑。可能是身体不大好的缘故,她说话声音低沉并且微弱,不容易听得清楚,所以上课的时候,我都故意坐到她的旁边。尽管老太太一幅夕阳西下的样子,她的文字却充满活力和希望,大多讲述二战期间,她小时候在苏格兰生活的点滴。
在写“A comfortable place”的时候,她写到了小时候家里的一张小硬床。那时候空袭警报一拉响,5岁的她和3岁的弟弟就会抱成一团,蜷缩在上面。家里因为拮据,取暖的火炉总是冷冰冰的。那张小硬床对于他们姐弟而言,就是世界上最温暖最舒适的地方。她临结尾的一句“这么多年来,再也没有和其他任何人分享过这张小木床”不禁让人唏嘘感叹。然而她整篇文章写的非常温馨,残酷的现实没有让她自怨自艾。我感叹之余,可能更多的是尊敬。
当写到“A memorable holiday”的时候,她描述了一个在战争的炮火中艰难挣扎的苏格兰圣诞节。她记得小时候看到的圣诞老人都是瘦瘦的,并且是不发礼物的。她妈妈每年都在圣诞袜里塞一块小小的糖来哄姐弟二人开心。其中有一年,战事艰苦,物资匮乏,她一年来都没吃到什么糖了。结果在圣诞前一晚上,她偷偷的半夜里去找藏着糖的袜子。在她妈的衣服抽屉里,她发现了一个鼓鼓囊囊的大袜子。她很开心,立刻迫不及待的张着嘴巴咬下去。结果想不到吃了一嘴的草。原来那是她妈妈用草绳为她们编的小公仔。“那是我见过最丑的公仔了,”她写到,“但那也是我最喜欢的一个公仔,因为那是我儿时唯一的一个。”
二战的大背景是她所有文章的主旋律。从她笔下小女孩的瞳孔里,我看到了战争的残酷。她最后一篇文章提到了他叔叔被迫从简的婚礼。因为当时德国突然入侵法国,计划好的婚礼被迫取消,变成了简单的注册登记。对此,四岁的她感到深深的痛苦和失望,因为她失去了一次吃大蛋糕的机会。(事实上也的确如此,自从那次机会错过后,她过了很久都再也没有吃过蛋糕了。)当她叔叔所属的步兵营在码头游行,出发上前线的时候,人头涌涌的场景让当时四岁的她很兴奋。同时她很奇怪为什么周围的人们都偷偷得掉落泪。当她看到父母也都紧缩的眉头时,她终于开始有点担心,害怕自己是不是又做错什么了。虽然整篇文章不长,500字左右,但战争的阴云让教室里的同学们都不寒而栗。
最后一节课中间休息的时候,我问她为什么不把这些经历都写下来出本书。她说好像有几篇散文在苏格兰的一些杂志上已经发表了,但在美国好像没有什么动静。我们顺便聊了一下美国人民对战争残酷性的漠然和无知。毕竟美国本土从来没有遭受大规模的战争洗礼,不知道这到底是美国人的福还是祸。
她估计已经有七十五六岁了。稀疏灰白的头发和充满褶皱的脖子让人瞥到岁月的沧桑。可能是身体不大好的缘故,她说话声音低沉并且微弱,不容易听得清楚,所以上课的时候,我都故意坐到她的旁边。尽管老太太一幅夕阳西下的样子,她的文字却充满活力和希望,大多讲述二战期间,她小时候在苏格兰生活的点滴。
在写“A comfortable place”的时候,她写到了小时候家里的一张小硬床。那时候空袭警报一拉响,5岁的她和3岁的弟弟就会抱成一团,蜷缩在上面。家里因为拮据,取暖的火炉总是冷冰冰的。那张小硬床对于他们姐弟而言,就是世界上最温暖最舒适的地方。她临结尾的一句“这么多年来,再也没有和其他任何人分享过这张小木床”不禁让人唏嘘感叹。然而她整篇文章写的非常温馨,残酷的现实没有让她自怨自艾。我感叹之余,可能更多的是尊敬。
当写到“A memorable holiday”的时候,她描述了一个在战争的炮火中艰难挣扎的苏格兰圣诞节。她记得小时候看到的圣诞老人都是瘦瘦的,并且是不发礼物的。她妈妈每年都在圣诞袜里塞一块小小的糖来哄姐弟二人开心。其中有一年,战事艰苦,物资匮乏,她一年来都没吃到什么糖了。结果在圣诞前一晚上,她偷偷的半夜里去找藏着糖的袜子。在她妈的衣服抽屉里,她发现了一个鼓鼓囊囊的大袜子。她很开心,立刻迫不及待的张着嘴巴咬下去。结果想不到吃了一嘴的草。原来那是她妈妈用草绳为她们编的小公仔。“那是我见过最丑的公仔了,”她写到,“但那也是我最喜欢的一个公仔,因为那是我儿时唯一的一个。”
二战的大背景是她所有文章的主旋律。从她笔下小女孩的瞳孔里,我看到了战争的残酷。她最后一篇文章提到了他叔叔被迫从简的婚礼。因为当时德国突然入侵法国,计划好的婚礼被迫取消,变成了简单的注册登记。对此,四岁的她感到深深的痛苦和失望,因为她失去了一次吃大蛋糕的机会。(事实上也的确如此,自从那次机会错过后,她过了很久都再也没有吃过蛋糕了。)当她叔叔所属的步兵营在码头游行,出发上前线的时候,人头涌涌的场景让当时四岁的她很兴奋。同时她很奇怪为什么周围的人们都偷偷得掉落泪。当她看到父母也都紧缩的眉头时,她终于开始有点担心,害怕自己是不是又做错什么了。虽然整篇文章不长,500字左右,但战争的阴云让教室里的同学们都不寒而栗。
最后一节课中间休息的时候,我问她为什么不把这些经历都写下来出本书。她说好像有几篇散文在苏格兰的一些杂志上已经发表了,但在美国好像没有什么动静。我们顺便聊了一下美国人民对战争残酷性的漠然和无知。毕竟美国本土从来没有遭受大规模的战争洗礼,不知道这到底是美国人的福还是祸。
平凡的人,不平凡的故事 (1)
上个礼拜三,是我上的写作课的最后一节课。总共六个礼拜的时光,不知不觉地就过去了。那天课堂里加上老师也只有7个人,有4个同学好像有其他事情不能来,弄教室里冷冷清清的。
按照惯例,老师总匿名的把大家的每周写的文章拿来读,读完就让同学们发言讨论,说说什么地方写的好,什么地方需要改善。匿名的原因就是要照顾大家的面子,这样大家能尽量畅所欲言。但实际上真正做到匿名很难,就这么几个人,随便琢磨一下就知道谁写了什么。所以上课的时候,老师一边读,我们下面也就一边脑袋乱转的去猜这是谁写的。
这其实和平时玩的杀人游戏差不多,都是分析推理加排除。比如关于小时候在苏格兰1935-40年左右生活的文章,只能是年纪最大的两个同学写的。关于小女孩的回忆,也要立刻排除我写的可能,除非我真是一个不折不扣的变态。作为教室里唯一的男性,我无所遁形。每次老师读到有提及女朋友的文章时,大家都刷得扭头向我看过来,逼得我不得不硬着头皮的说“别看我,这是纽约,谁都可以有女朋友的。”
就这样一点一点的猜,还是很容易把文章和作者一一对号入座的。
课上大概九到十个学生里,给我印象特别深的有三个,其中两个是六七十岁的老奶奶,另一个是的二十来岁的金发上班女郎。从外表上看,她们都是看上去很平凡的普通人,没有光鲜的着装,没有惊人的美貌,也没有传说中的那种独一无二的气质。然而,她们每周写的文章却都是出乎意料的吸引人,有时候一些荡气回肠的文字会在脑海里跳跃翻腾很久。
下面我就具体说说她们的故事。
按照惯例,老师总匿名的把大家的每周写的文章拿来读,读完就让同学们发言讨论,说说什么地方写的好,什么地方需要改善。匿名的原因就是要照顾大家的面子,这样大家能尽量畅所欲言。但实际上真正做到匿名很难,就这么几个人,随便琢磨一下就知道谁写了什么。所以上课的时候,老师一边读,我们下面也就一边脑袋乱转的去猜这是谁写的。
这其实和平时玩的杀人游戏差不多,都是分析推理加排除。比如关于小时候在苏格兰1935-40年左右生活的文章,只能是年纪最大的两个同学写的。关于小女孩的回忆,也要立刻排除我写的可能,除非我真是一个不折不扣的变态。作为教室里唯一的男性,我无所遁形。每次老师读到有提及女朋友的文章时,大家都刷得扭头向我看过来,逼得我不得不硬着头皮的说“别看我,这是纽约,谁都可以有女朋友的。”
就这样一点一点的猜,还是很容易把文章和作者一一对号入座的。
课上大概九到十个学生里,给我印象特别深的有三个,其中两个是六七十岁的老奶奶,另一个是的二十来岁的金发上班女郎。从外表上看,她们都是看上去很平凡的普通人,没有光鲜的着装,没有惊人的美貌,也没有传说中的那种独一无二的气质。然而,她们每周写的文章却都是出乎意料的吸引人,有时候一些荡气回肠的文字会在脑海里跳跃翻腾很久。
下面我就具体说说她们的故事。
Saturday, May 02, 2009
Writing Assignment - About a Revelation (2 Pages)
On November 23rd, 2004, the legendary Hong Kong lyricist, writer and comedian Jim Wong died. The lung cancer got the better of him after years of struggle. My girlfriend was preparing dinner when I saw the brief news online in a tiny New York City apartment. “I can’t believe he is gone as well.” I whispered. Out of nowhere, a sense of nostalgia overwhelmed me.
I had seen my fair share of Hong Kong celebrity death in recent years. Singer Anita Mui died of breast cancer in December 2003. Actor Leslie Cheung committed suicide earlier that year in April. Those sad memories were still fresh when Jim’s death hit the wire. That was just too much. I was like a clumsy boxer who barely survived the first one-two punch, unexpectedly got hit by the third blow. I was knocked out.
These were the people I associated my adolescence with. Anita was the super diva back then, famous for her outrageous stage costumes and electrifying dancing style. Her choreography was taped and imitated among my classmates. Her concert posters were also hot collector’s items in the boys’ circle.
Leslie’s handsome bad boy image in Days of Being Wild fascinated me. As a bad-boy-wannabe, I was willing to lose an arm just to be half as cool as him. His Farewell My Concubine was the movie to watch in 1993. I didn’t fully understand the movie at the time, but I discussed it with my buddies nonetheless, especially about Leslie’ sexual orientation. It was the biggest mystery and we could argue for hours.
Jim Wong, or “Uncle Jim” as we used to call him, was the lyricist for all latest TV drama theme songs. TV dramas came and went, but his songs stayed. I even weaved some of his lyrics into my class writing assignments. His off-color jokes in his columns and talk shows also spread around like wild fires despite public criticism. I was one of his supporters, evident by my tireless imitations.
But then they were all dead! I was crushed by the glimpse of reality – “I am aging”. “Growing” and “aging” might be technically similar, but I used to draw a sharp line between them: I was growing and my parents were aging. It had been that way for as long as I could remember, but somehow I crossed the line without knowing. Familiar people were disappearing. Strangers started showing up on TV. The world that I knew of was fading. I couldn't do a thing about it. I pictured myself dying alone in an strange apartment, sitting in a dark corner watching clouds passing by the broken window.
“Dinner is almost ready.” My girlfriend’s voice came through the kitchen. I came back to reality and hurried into the kitchen. She was finishing up. I noticed the tiny sweat on her forehead. Her eyes were glittering from the fire on the stove. I suddenly felt the warmth inside of me. Maybe I will not die alone. Maybe aging is not that bad, as long as someone is aging with me. Maybe I can find other people to identify myself with in the future.
A lot of things I didn’t know at that moment, but what I did know was that I had to set up the dinner table and the food smelled delicious.
I had seen my fair share of Hong Kong celebrity death in recent years. Singer Anita Mui died of breast cancer in December 2003. Actor Leslie Cheung committed suicide earlier that year in April. Those sad memories were still fresh when Jim’s death hit the wire. That was just too much. I was like a clumsy boxer who barely survived the first one-two punch, unexpectedly got hit by the third blow. I was knocked out.
These were the people I associated my adolescence with. Anita was the super diva back then, famous for her outrageous stage costumes and electrifying dancing style. Her choreography was taped and imitated among my classmates. Her concert posters were also hot collector’s items in the boys’ circle.
Leslie’s handsome bad boy image in Days of Being Wild fascinated me. As a bad-boy-wannabe, I was willing to lose an arm just to be half as cool as him. His Farewell My Concubine was the movie to watch in 1993. I didn’t fully understand the movie at the time, but I discussed it with my buddies nonetheless, especially about Leslie’ sexual orientation. It was the biggest mystery and we could argue for hours.
Jim Wong, or “Uncle Jim” as we used to call him, was the lyricist for all latest TV drama theme songs. TV dramas came and went, but his songs stayed. I even weaved some of his lyrics into my class writing assignments. His off-color jokes in his columns and talk shows also spread around like wild fires despite public criticism. I was one of his supporters, evident by my tireless imitations.
But then they were all dead! I was crushed by the glimpse of reality – “I am aging”. “Growing” and “aging” might be technically similar, but I used to draw a sharp line between them: I was growing and my parents were aging. It had been that way for as long as I could remember, but somehow I crossed the line without knowing. Familiar people were disappearing. Strangers started showing up on TV. The world that I knew of was fading. I couldn't do a thing about it. I pictured myself dying alone in an strange apartment, sitting in a dark corner watching clouds passing by the broken window.
“Dinner is almost ready.” My girlfriend’s voice came through the kitchen. I came back to reality and hurried into the kitchen. She was finishing up. I noticed the tiny sweat on her forehead. Her eyes were glittering from the fire on the stove. I suddenly felt the warmth inside of me. Maybe I will not die alone. Maybe aging is not that bad, as long as someone is aging with me. Maybe I can find other people to identify myself with in the future.
A lot of things I didn’t know at that moment, but what I did know was that I had to set up the dinner table and the food smelled delicious.
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