Monday, December 20, 2004

82岁和28岁

这两天杨振宁再婚的消息在网上传得沸沸扬扬。其实82岁的人再婚不出奇,但82岁的老头和28岁的女学生结婚就挺新鲜,如果这82岁的老头是杨振宁那就更是头条新闻。我吧,当然也觉得这东西挺别扭的,这主要是因为有三个问题很难回答:

(1)当28岁的翁帆看见或者摸到杨振宁那82岁的皱皱巴巴的像冰箱里放了三个月的苹果一样干瘪的屁股的时候,会不会吐?
这个问题其实很关键,因为我在健身房里就和一个高龄的屁股有过偶遇。那一幕止今让我无法忘怀,那种感觉真是刻骨铭心。看看都如此了,那摸上去啥调调?啊。。不行了,我真的要吐了。。当然估计50年之后,我的屁股也会变成那样,但那是后话,暂且不提也罢。

(2)当82岁的杨振宁见到翁帆她50多岁的父亲母亲的时候,该叫什么?
再说了,如果我和翁帆是同学的话,下次老杨看见我,他又该叫什么?哈哈,爽!

(3)家里以后灯泡烧了谁去换?
82岁的老头说句不好听得,你真是什么都指望不了他。所以说28岁的翁帆对于杨振宁来说与其说是妻子,不如说是临终看护来的更贴切些。上到换灯泡,下到弯腰倒垃圾,开车买菜做饭洗衣更别说了,翁帆可真要千里走单骑了。最可怕的是现在医学昌明,没准老杨一乐,就活到了98,那翁帆可不要后悔的找根绳子上吊啊。

不过就连美国的平均寿命也不过78岁,老杨现在已经是小概率事件了,没准3年之后大家再回头看看这件事,全都异口同声地伸出大拇指:“翁帆真牛B!!!”

Sunday, December 12, 2004

完美人生

昨天晚上走在时代广场上,第一次头上被鸟屎直接命中,搞得我很兴奋,差点立马去买六合彩。特此发文纪念,嗯。。。

Friday, December 10, 2004

Annual Hot Dog Eating Contest

昨天下班回家后,突然特别饿,就一手捧着威化饼干罐头开始埋头啃。随手又把电视打开了,看看ESPN上有啥。结果它在放一年一度的吃热狗大赛。大约有20位各种肤色体态的选手出现在决赛里,一个超级长的大桌子上堆满了热狗。这热狗上什么也没有,就是一根肠夹在一个长条的小面包里,朴实无华。大热门是一个日本人,也叫Kobe什么的,他的以前的纪录是50根半。我的妈呀,真恐怖啊,我实在无法想象一个人怎么可能在12分钟内吃掉这么多,那可是平均14秒一根啊!!

当解说员介绍这个Kobe的时候,他很严肃的说:“这是位伟大的professional competitive eating的参赛选手,他擅长于吃肉,面包,和豆子,他在这些项目上的胜率是很高的。在日本他已经蝉联3次吃牛肉面的比赛,在美国这是他四次尝试卫冕,真是个偶像级的选手啊。” 这时候另一个解说插了一句:“那他是不是就等于篮球里的Michael Jordan啊?”“对对对,完全正确!!有过之而无不及啊,在competitive eating的圈子里,他是不可逾越的啊。当然他今年在2小时耐力赛里输给了另一位日本高手,有点遗憾啊。嗯。。。他个子这么不显眼,但可以吃成这样,很让人钦佩啊。”

这时候比赛开始了,那个Kobe真恐怖,他真是能吃啊!!!他把肉肠和面包分开,肉肠是四段(两根再折成四段)一起往嘴巴里塞,同时把两个面包泡在水里,等肉肠都在嘴巴里了,再开始塞面包,由于有水的缘故,面包比较好吞。他速度之快真是匪夷所思,我当时也顾不上吃自己的威化了,就一动不动的盯着个电视傻笑。

这时候解说员也是赞不绝耳:“他真是个天才啊。他吃的基本功是多么的扎实啊。啧啧,你看他那大大的嘴巴,尖锐的牙齿,和强力的咀嚼,无人能及啊。”我听完了,笑得差点没背过气去,靠,吃东西也讲究基本功?!而且光听解说的话,你肯定以为他在说狼啊,狗啊什么的。

当比赛进入8分钟的时候,很多其他的选手都开始有些很奇怪的反应。一个白人老太太(奇怪吧,她起码55了)开始摇头晃脑的跳舞了,一个巨大的黑人兄弟一边吃一边点头,眼泪还不断往外冒。那个Kobe更是像条正在甩身上水的狗狗,非常大幅度的晃肩甩尾,很明显他在尝试把事物给晃到胃里去。根据解说的话讲,这就是天下闻名的“Kobe Shake”。由于绝大多数的美国选手体积都太庞大,屁股太重,大多甩不太动,所以Kobe这一招有点天下独步的味道。

最后Kobe又赢了,还破了纪录,53根!!!总共20个选手吃了超过500根的热狗。哈哈,夸张吧。前三名都是日本人,很牛啊。出人意料的是第三名居然是个矮小的日本女孩,好像还不到100磅,她吃了30条。

现在我一直在想,我大概能吃多少条呢?12分钟。。嗯。。。

下面是一片对他的评论,呵呵,很有意思。

The Greatest Athelete In The World: Takeru Kobayashi

We don't know "The Tsunami," but his accomplishments make him worthy of a very special page in his honor. For you see, Kobayashi is no ordinary eater. He is the king of eaters. He is the king of men. His unprecedented four consecutive triumphs at the Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest put him in the upper echelon of athletics, not just in present times, but in all of history.

We have seen lots of atheletes win consecutive titles over the years, but rarely do we see complete and utter domination on the scale that Kobayashi delivers. In the past four years he has won the Nathan's Contest by an average margin of 18.3 hot dogs, breaking the world record on three of those occasions. And nobody has ever come close to breaking his record of 53 and 1/2 hot dogs in 12 minutes. It's like if Lance Armstrong finished the tour de france hours before his competitors, or if Tiger Woods got a hole in one on every swing of the PGA tour.

But the fact that he always completely shatters his competition isn't what makes him great. What makes Kobayashi great is the style and grace with which he performs. To see a 130 pound, 20 something Japanese kid come in and completely destroy a group of 300+ pound American slobs is amazing, but the fact that he takes it in stride and doesn't get cocky is truly inspirational. He carries himself with an air of genuine nobility and class, with the charisma and dignity of a true champion. He took a sport that had previously been a spectacle of people piggishly stuffing as much food as possible into their mouths and transformed it into a science, into an art, and into something that is worth being celebrated.

God bless you, Kobayashi.