Thursday, May 27, 2004

传说中的猪精

为什么每次半夜里下雨我都不知道????为什么每次早上上班看见一地的水的时候,我总会吓一跳:“昨天晚上下雨了?!” 为什么每次我都睡得这么死,打雷下雨都不醒?? 难道我真象我女朋友做描述的那样,是一种传说中的神物:人型的猪???

每次办公室里的人聊起天,说到晚上下雨,他们都说什么昨天晚上睡不好啊,要关窗啊,很吵啊什么的。我呢,每次都是一句:“昨天晚上有下雨?”所以他们现在总怀疑我到底是不是住在纽约的。

记得最夸张的一次是在上大学的时候,那时候我们两个人一间宿舍。有天半夜刮台风,风大雨急,我们宿舍的窗户都打得稀巴烂。我的roommate已经起来战斗了,他找了些东西来绑住窗架子,又有用身子顶住一块床板来阻挡向宿舍里飘的大雨。因为有南北两面的窗户,他一个人实在对付不了
他发出凄惨的悲嚎:“GTR你怎么还在睡觉啊,起来帮忙啊!”

的确,那时候我还在睡觉,而且还很香。我感觉很舒服,一点都没有平时的闷热。不过我最终醒了,不过不是roommate叫醒的(打雷我都不怕,还怕他那小嗓子??)。我醒了是发现我半边床已经给飘进来的雨全部打湿了,我的蚊帐还给刮得塌了半边。我醒来第一句话就是:“我操,出妖精了??!!”(看西游记看多了,一变天,我就觉得是要出妖精了)
为此,我roommate也深信我是一只妖精:猪精

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

武侠小说创作

从小到大总有写本武侠小说的欲望,有好几次都是笔和纸都准备好了,但由于某些突发事件一打岔(比如口渴,喝了口水,或者是憋极了,撒泡尿这些事),回过头来就忘了该干嘛了。

我可以记得的最接近成功的一次是我小学四年纪吧(对不起,我早熟,小学三年级的时候就把金庸古龙的那几本都看了)。那是一个炎热的夏天,我和我哥打算合伙写本武打小说来赚钱(当时我们都特想有很多很多钱,去把市面上的小纸牌都买回来,什么西游记的,水浒的,隋唐的,啊!!!统统要,统统要!)书名当时还没想好,但我们很有步骤地先设计人物和故事主线

故事我们决定走大众化的路线....
男主角首先要英俊,然后父母一定要双亡
他一定要在18岁的时候出来找杀父母的仇人
这时候他会遇到一个女孩,很漂亮,很高傲,骑着大红马的那种,她象个童养媳一样,是谁都看不上,偏偏就喜欢男主角
男主角呢,不知怎么的一定会掉到悬崖底下,悬崖下面不是枯草就是水,反正他死不了,不仅如此,他还找到武功秘籍。对,神秘的老头,悬崖下面一定要有个神秘老头
两年之后他又要出来找坏人决斗,这时候他多做好事,像雷锋一样出名,肯定不知怎么的还当了个武林盟主。
坏人马上都吓得不得了,聚集在一起准备对付他
这时一定还要有个美女坏人,她毅然决定要牺牲自己来帮助帅哥。
帅哥很感动,最后杀光了坏人,和另一个美女happily ever after了

辅助人物我们觉得一定要有个醉丐,好人,越醉越厉害的那种高手 。还要有个不起眼的,开个小餐馆的隐藏了30年的打死不出手的那种绝代高人。还要把这些高手的名字,外号什么的凑一个对联,或者暗号,琅琅上口的那种。

哎,可惜啊,这么好的构思当初硬是没有付诸实现,不然我现在肯定很爽,天天吃茶叶蛋,喝汽水。(天天吃茶叶蛋,喝汽水是我当时可以想象到的最最奢华的生活了)

Monday, May 24, 2004

More Great Lines

继续写写让我难忘的电影对白吧,这次再加上几句歌词好了

"There is some good in this world, and it's worth fighting for." Sam, Lord of the Ring - Two Towers

"There is some truth in the fiction, and some fiction in the truth." Neo, Animatrix

"Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane" Red, The Shawshank Redemption

“我总有一种想为你去而死的冲动,因为我不知如何才能把你打动” 郑钧, (奶奶的,歌名怎么想都想不起来了)

"Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted - One moment. Would you capture it or just let it slip?" Eminem, Lose Yourself

Friday, May 21, 2004

Some Great Movie Lines

Sometimes after watching a movie, I can remember nothing but one or two great lines said by certain character. It’s those words that strike me the most and leave me mouthful of taste. Here are some of the lines that I will always remember.

"What do men want? They want more!" Achilles, Troy

"Has anything you’ve done made your life better?" Bob, American History X

"I am tired of being pissed off." Derek, American History X

"Life was like a box of chocolates, never know what you are gonna get" Forrest, Forrest Gump

"What is real? How do you define real?" Morpheus, The Matrix

"Are you OK?" "Nah man, I am pretty fucking far from OK!" Marsellus, Pulp Fiction

"They can’t win this fight. They are all going to die" "Then I shall die as one of them!" Aragorn, Lord of the Ring ? Two Towers

"You are not special; you are not a beautiful or unique snowflake; you are the same decaying organic matter as everything else." Tyler Durden, Fight Club

"The things you own, end up owning you." Tyler Durden, Fight Club

Thursday, May 20, 2004

纽约街头偶见

中午出去买饭的时候,看到一下一幕:

一个身材健硕的黑人青年,骑着运动型的自行车呼啸而至。由于路上行人众多,他一边骑,一边大声吆喝:"be careful, watch out, bikes coming" 大家纷纷及时闪避。这时路中间有个着装入时的女白领,她一边低头打着电话,一边仍然置若罔闻的慢慢走,黑人青年不得不在她面前猛地急刹车一把,发出一阵阵刺耳的“吱吱”声。当他从那个女的身边经过之后,他回过头来了一句:"move, you fucking bitch!" 然后,这个身材窈窕的时代女性头也不抬,一只手照旧打着电话,然后伸出另一只手,高高的竖起中指。晴朗的蓝天下,她那美丽的手指显得分外妖娆。周围的一些头发花白的白人老头老太都看得目瞪口呆。 我微微一笑,心中对着这些明显的外地游客默默的说了一句:"Welcome to New York"

God, I love New York!!!

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

New Formula with 133% less Carb!!

我同事今天在吃一种Nutrition Bar的时候,我扫了一眼他的包装,上面有这么一句广告:“New Formula with 133% less Carb!!!”

嗯............................... Interesting............................... Just how the hell can you have 133% less ??!!!!!!!

原则上讲,任何东西最多就是100% less。 You can never have more than 100% less of something. 如果这个“133% less”是真的话, 就是说这东西含有负数的碳水化合物。 It’s basically sucking away the carb in your body. I guess the more you eat, the closer you are to become a mummy. 我把这事和同事一说,他也哈哈大笑。他也承认他当时也觉得这"133% less” sounds kinda funny, but didn’t know why,而且因为这个133%的广告听起来非常强悍,他才买的。好一个虚假广告的受害者啊。

所以我一直相信这一条金科玉律: If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is too good to be true.

Monday, May 17, 2004

人比人,气死人

昨天和女朋友打电话,她说她郁闷。原来她刚去了一个大型的华人聚会,里面精英云集,到来的Guest Speaker都是年轻有为,在各自的领域里光芒四射,她就觉得有点under-achieving了。

我就劝她别郁闷,关键就是人不能和人比。人要比,就和猫啊,狗啊什么的比,那么自己又聪明,又高大,比着比着能笑出来的那种,但人要是和人比,那绝对得气死。这些精英也都算牛人了吧,但他们要是和Bill Gates, Michael Dell什么的比,也难逃气死的厄运。你气我,我气你,气来气去何时了?我的理论就是:满足现状是一切快乐的源泉。我妈老说我骄傲自满,我倒总觉得她在夸我。

Saturday, May 15, 2004

The Movie: Troy

昨天晚上看了新出炉的Troy
很好看啊,尽管很多地方与史实不符
但里面人性中的方方面面都表现的淋漓尽致
贪婪,残暴,勇敢,荣誉,爱情,欲望,懦弱,亲情,仇恨,真是要嘛有嘛
美中不足就是开大仗的场面总有点意尤未尽
我希望他们打的再火暴一点,哈哈

从电影中也是学习了不少道理
(1)别人的老婆,是碰不得的
小的掉手指,当太监,大的杀你一家,最夸张的就干脆屠你全城,很恐怖啊

(2)别动不动就和别人玩什么一对一
没有两把刷子,就别牛逼,否则会死的很难看的啊

(3)一定要有个很猛的哥们
Paris有Hector,Greece有Achilles,我有谁?嗯,要好好想想

(4)玩火者,终被焚
勇猛如Achilles者,也难逃这个宿命

(5)看电影的时候,少喝水
我一共上了4次洗手间,破了个人生涯最好纪录
不仅我烦死了,旁边的哥们也烦死了

Sunday, May 09, 2004

Fake Americans

Another thing that really pissed me off is how fake Americans really are. They think torturing 30 to 50 prisons are horrible, but killing thousands of other Iraqis is OK? The torturing is horrible simple because Americans saw it. That's gross and disgusting, I full-heartedly agree. But what about killing???

If they see how the blood will splash when a bullet forcefully enters a human's chest; If they see how far a kid's arm can travel when a US bomb dropped in a residential area and hit the kid's home; If they see how a human being would look like with only half of his/her skull left; Would they still glorify the war against Iraq the way the mass media is doing now? The real battlefield is uglier than anything you would imagine. And that's something I considered "really gross and disgusting".

So stop faking it, God damn it! The fact is Americans don't give it a shit about anyone else except themselves, let alone those poor captured Iraqi soldiers.

About the Infamous Torture Pictures in the War against Iraq

When the pictures of American Solders torturing Iraqi prisoners hit the mass media several days ago, the whole so called "Human-rights" nation was shocked upside down. Bush was more wordless than ever, and could have definitely forced out couple drops of tears if he was a better actor. Rumsfield seems to be older than ever under the spot light. Instead of being a witty, charming Secretary of Defense, he is a now a caught-on-tape type of fucked-up pervert. All the republicans / pro-war activists just felt a slap on their face. Previously well-thought 1,000 reasons to invade Iraq just vanished like a beautiful dream in the summer's eve.

Then, after I saw the pictures myself, I am furious... The anger is burning and my eyes are red... That the fuck is that ??!!

No, no, no... don't get my wrong. I am not angry at the way Americans torturing Iraqis... Trust me, I've seen worse. Personally I think that's part of the deal of being captured. You don't really believe they will leave you alone as long as you surrender your weapons, do you??

But rather I am anger at the Americans, the weak stupid ass Americans. I argued with my boss about the war from the very begining. I said the war is not for the best interest of United States. I am not saying Sadam is a nice person that I like to hang out with. (Hell no, I definitely don't want to have him as my neighbour.) I am also not arguing Iraq has no WMD... Personally I really don't think WMD is factor here (If Iraq has WMD, US troops will be in big trouble, so don't go there; if Iraq has no WMD, no need to go there either) But my reasoning is:
(1) Fighting against Iraq will get very dirty
(2) US can't afford to be dirty
(3) Well, if you don't want to get dirty, don't fight in the mud... Get the hell out of Iraq then

Here is the detail:
(1) The war against Iraq is not about army against army here. It's about you-invade-my-house-I-do-whatever-I-can-to-get-you-out type of conflict. Yes, Americans have bigger guns and more advanced shit in their arsenal, but so what?? We are talking about religious freaks doing suicide-bombers here. The enemy is everywhere and nowhere. They are civilian now and smiles at you; Seconds later, they are the enemy and try to send you to see your Jesus. They are invisible, and they are willing to fight with their teeth.

(2) Of course if Americans really want, they can still win the war with ease. Just drop couple nukes or kill everything on sight will solve the problem, but here comes the second point, Americans can't fight dirty.
You gotta love Americans, because they are too nice and too politically correct to their own fault. They just have too many baggages on their backs. Namely, the human-rights, Christianity, moral righteousness and other stuff that sounds wonderful but costly to execute. They just can't fight dirty!!!!! Just look at these so-called "torture" pictures again...... They are laughable compared to what the Japanese did to us in WWII but the weak-hearted Americans all freaked out and just can't take it any more. That's why I always believe that US can never be prepared for a war like this. They may be physically well-equipped and have more than enough fire power to accomplish any military task, but mentally they are not there yet, and perhaps never will.

(3) So, I will say "GET THE FUCK OUT OF IRAQ NOW!!!"

These are the reasons why I am angry.... The stupid President Bush should have never sent troops over, and should have never wasted my hard-earned tax money in such pointless way. Now he is asking $25bn more and fuck that, I am angry!!!