Monday, December 20, 2004

82岁和28岁

这两天杨振宁再婚的消息在网上传得沸沸扬扬。其实82岁的人再婚不出奇,但82岁的老头和28岁的女学生结婚就挺新鲜,如果这82岁的老头是杨振宁那就更是头条新闻。我吧,当然也觉得这东西挺别扭的,这主要是因为有三个问题很难回答:

(1)当28岁的翁帆看见或者摸到杨振宁那82岁的皱皱巴巴的像冰箱里放了三个月的苹果一样干瘪的屁股的时候,会不会吐?
这个问题其实很关键,因为我在健身房里就和一个高龄的屁股有过偶遇。那一幕止今让我无法忘怀,那种感觉真是刻骨铭心。看看都如此了,那摸上去啥调调?啊。。不行了,我真的要吐了。。当然估计50年之后,我的屁股也会变成那样,但那是后话,暂且不提也罢。

(2)当82岁的杨振宁见到翁帆她50多岁的父亲母亲的时候,该叫什么?
再说了,如果我和翁帆是同学的话,下次老杨看见我,他又该叫什么?哈哈,爽!

(3)家里以后灯泡烧了谁去换?
82岁的老头说句不好听得,你真是什么都指望不了他。所以说28岁的翁帆对于杨振宁来说与其说是妻子,不如说是临终看护来的更贴切些。上到换灯泡,下到弯腰倒垃圾,开车买菜做饭洗衣更别说了,翁帆可真要千里走单骑了。最可怕的是现在医学昌明,没准老杨一乐,就活到了98,那翁帆可不要后悔的找根绳子上吊啊。

不过就连美国的平均寿命也不过78岁,老杨现在已经是小概率事件了,没准3年之后大家再回头看看这件事,全都异口同声地伸出大拇指:“翁帆真牛B!!!”

Sunday, December 12, 2004

完美人生

昨天晚上走在时代广场上,第一次头上被鸟屎直接命中,搞得我很兴奋,差点立马去买六合彩。特此发文纪念,嗯。。。

Friday, December 10, 2004

Annual Hot Dog Eating Contest

昨天下班回家后,突然特别饿,就一手捧着威化饼干罐头开始埋头啃。随手又把电视打开了,看看ESPN上有啥。结果它在放一年一度的吃热狗大赛。大约有20位各种肤色体态的选手出现在决赛里,一个超级长的大桌子上堆满了热狗。这热狗上什么也没有,就是一根肠夹在一个长条的小面包里,朴实无华。大热门是一个日本人,也叫Kobe什么的,他的以前的纪录是50根半。我的妈呀,真恐怖啊,我实在无法想象一个人怎么可能在12分钟内吃掉这么多,那可是平均14秒一根啊!!

当解说员介绍这个Kobe的时候,他很严肃的说:“这是位伟大的professional competitive eating的参赛选手,他擅长于吃肉,面包,和豆子,他在这些项目上的胜率是很高的。在日本他已经蝉联3次吃牛肉面的比赛,在美国这是他四次尝试卫冕,真是个偶像级的选手啊。” 这时候另一个解说插了一句:“那他是不是就等于篮球里的Michael Jordan啊?”“对对对,完全正确!!有过之而无不及啊,在competitive eating的圈子里,他是不可逾越的啊。当然他今年在2小时耐力赛里输给了另一位日本高手,有点遗憾啊。嗯。。。他个子这么不显眼,但可以吃成这样,很让人钦佩啊。”

这时候比赛开始了,那个Kobe真恐怖,他真是能吃啊!!!他把肉肠和面包分开,肉肠是四段(两根再折成四段)一起往嘴巴里塞,同时把两个面包泡在水里,等肉肠都在嘴巴里了,再开始塞面包,由于有水的缘故,面包比较好吞。他速度之快真是匪夷所思,我当时也顾不上吃自己的威化了,就一动不动的盯着个电视傻笑。

这时候解说员也是赞不绝耳:“他真是个天才啊。他吃的基本功是多么的扎实啊。啧啧,你看他那大大的嘴巴,尖锐的牙齿,和强力的咀嚼,无人能及啊。”我听完了,笑得差点没背过气去,靠,吃东西也讲究基本功?!而且光听解说的话,你肯定以为他在说狼啊,狗啊什么的。

当比赛进入8分钟的时候,很多其他的选手都开始有些很奇怪的反应。一个白人老太太(奇怪吧,她起码55了)开始摇头晃脑的跳舞了,一个巨大的黑人兄弟一边吃一边点头,眼泪还不断往外冒。那个Kobe更是像条正在甩身上水的狗狗,非常大幅度的晃肩甩尾,很明显他在尝试把事物给晃到胃里去。根据解说的话讲,这就是天下闻名的“Kobe Shake”。由于绝大多数的美国选手体积都太庞大,屁股太重,大多甩不太动,所以Kobe这一招有点天下独步的味道。

最后Kobe又赢了,还破了纪录,53根!!!总共20个选手吃了超过500根的热狗。哈哈,夸张吧。前三名都是日本人,很牛啊。出人意料的是第三名居然是个矮小的日本女孩,好像还不到100磅,她吃了30条。

现在我一直在想,我大概能吃多少条呢?12分钟。。嗯。。。

下面是一片对他的评论,呵呵,很有意思。

The Greatest Athelete In The World: Takeru Kobayashi

We don't know "The Tsunami," but his accomplishments make him worthy of a very special page in his honor. For you see, Kobayashi is no ordinary eater. He is the king of eaters. He is the king of men. His unprecedented four consecutive triumphs at the Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest put him in the upper echelon of athletics, not just in present times, but in all of history.

We have seen lots of atheletes win consecutive titles over the years, but rarely do we see complete and utter domination on the scale that Kobayashi delivers. In the past four years he has won the Nathan's Contest by an average margin of 18.3 hot dogs, breaking the world record on three of those occasions. And nobody has ever come close to breaking his record of 53 and 1/2 hot dogs in 12 minutes. It's like if Lance Armstrong finished the tour de france hours before his competitors, or if Tiger Woods got a hole in one on every swing of the PGA tour.

But the fact that he always completely shatters his competition isn't what makes him great. What makes Kobayashi great is the style and grace with which he performs. To see a 130 pound, 20 something Japanese kid come in and completely destroy a group of 300+ pound American slobs is amazing, but the fact that he takes it in stride and doesn't get cocky is truly inspirational. He carries himself with an air of genuine nobility and class, with the charisma and dignity of a true champion. He took a sport that had previously been a spectacle of people piggishly stuffing as much food as possible into their mouths and transformed it into a science, into an art, and into something that is worth being celebrated.

God bless you, Kobayashi.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

我真的老了

陈百强死的时候,我糊里糊涂得抬起头:“哦,他很出名啊?”
黄家驹死的时候,我看着新闻报道,叹了口气:“真是点背啊”
张国荣死的时候,我居然挤下两滴眼泪,“生命可贵啊,为什么要自杀呢?”
梅艳芳死的时候,我震惊的差点把吃饭的筷子戳到鼻子里,“梅艳芳这么年轻啊!!”
今天突然又听说黄沾居然也去世了,我突然觉得很可悲,这些耳闻目睹的人们居然都一个个的去了,我小声嘟囔着:“我真的老了”。

衰老的可怕之处不是自己本身的迈向死亡,而是身边那些熟悉的名字一个接一个的从这个世界上慢慢消失。

Thursday, November 18, 2004

没有脑子的人们

我们现在生活在一个brain dead的社会里,这一点我一早就开始怀疑了。我一直执著的认为世界上三分之一的人要么没有大脑,要么就是拒绝使用大脑。但苦于一直没有证据,我无法证明这一切。好在有互联网,好在有mitbbs,很幸运的(或者是不幸的?),我找到了我追寻多年的证据。

以下是我曾经看到过的一些讨论话题:
“大家给个idea,ipod刻字该写什么呢?”
“没有海尔洗衣机的爸爸妈妈们怎么给宝宝洗衣服?”
“姓张的孩子叫什么好?在线等!!!”
“我该给我表妹送什么礼物?”
“有没有人觉得做完菜后手上好大味道,怎么办?”
“到底Bud Lite好喝,还是Miller Lite?”


这样的帖子在mitbbs上真是屡见不鲜,还大多是出国读书的研究生,博士们发的。这个世界真奇妙啊,脑死的人还能读博士,嘿嘿。要是我向我以前一个哥们问这种问题,他第一反应肯定就是给我一大嘴巴,然后来一句:“你丫傻B啊,这他妈问题还问人?”

Friday, November 12, 2004

生与死的抉择

今天网上看到张纯如自杀的消息,本来也不大了解她是谁,百无聊赖中通过Google四处乱点一通,仔细一看,不禁惋惜。很多人写文章写得好,文笔好,格调也高。但往往有两点我不大喜欢,第一,很多作家只知道用手写,但不知道用心写;第二,很多作家缺乏书写残酷现实的胆量。张纯如在这两方面上都非常出色,我及其敬佩。事实上,也只有这么投入的作家才会去选择自杀,我非常理解她。在她把这个世界的丑陋毫无保留的揭露出来的时候,她也彻底地丧失了生活在这样一个世界里的欲望。

她是个有胆识的人,因为她敢于揭露和批判这个肮脏的世界。她是个崇尚光明的人,因为只有这样的人才会如此痛恨世间的邪恶。但可惜她还不是个真正的勇士,她最终在黑暗面前退却了,她选择了自杀这种无声的呐喊和懦弱的抗争。罗兰说过最大的勇士是敢于面对这个黑暗世界的人。可惜,她不是我们希望的那种“最大的勇士”。真得很可惜。。。。

"Some quirk in human nature allows even the most unspeakable acts of evil to become banal within minutes" This is a direct quote from her. It's sad that what she said was absolutely true.

我很多时候对这个世界也很失望。经常想来想去觉得做人很没有意思。世间的邪恶和丑陋令人窒息。在于现状不断妥协的过程中,愈发觉得人性的沦落与无助。但我不会去自杀的,因为我不想当个懦夫。现状是残酷的,但只要自己还有一口气在,就不能放弃。只要大家都努力做个好人,尝试去宣扬正义,这个世界还是会变得美丽的。我不会投降的,就算这是场毫无胜算的战争。

P.S. 一下是她写过的三本饱受赞誉的纪实体小说:
The Rape of Nanking: The Forgotten Holocaust of World War II
The Chinese in America: A Narrative History
Thread of the Silkworm

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

The BEST Article about the Outcome of the Election

After the election or, to be precise, after Bosh got re-elected, I was so depressed that I didn't even attempt to write anything to express my feelings.

Today my friend forwarded me this article, which did a superb job articulating exactly what I had in mind. The truth is:

GOD HELP AMERICA

Friday, November 05, 2004

Interesting Words

There are certain words that I found quite interesting. Here are several examples.

Oblivious - For some reason, I just can’t remember what it means. I have seen this word at least 100 times, if not 1,000. I’ve look it up on my dictionary for numerous times as well. But I still didn’t know what it meant when I saw it today. So I checked the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary again, and I couldn’t stop laughing when I realized the meaning of this word.

Leverage - This is arguably the most over-used, or even abused, word in the financial industry. “We can leverage our existing platform to deliver superior results.” “By leveraging our expertise in the credit market, we were able to penetrate other segments of the fixed income market.” Just to give you two examples. I still don’t understand why this word is so popular, since it can be easily replaced by “use” in 90% of the cases.

Synthetic - This is one tough word to pronounce!! I had such a tough time to say it without either taking 5 seconds or biting my tongue. I have practiced over and over for who-knows-how-many-hours and finally got a hang of it. Because of this word, I once even suspected that my tongue suffered some kind of DNA-related deficiency.

Sorry - This word should be on the top of the I-say-it-but-I-don’t-really-mean-it list. Doesn’t the word "sorry" entail the meaning of “remorseful”, “regretful”, or “apologetic”? However, in real life no one really means it. Let’s say when you are walking on the street, someone (she) bumps into you. She may well say “sorry” without even turning her head and looking at you. Well, you better believe it because it just happened to me yesterday morning!

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Oh boy, it's SOUTH again

If you look at this graph, you will notice that all southern states voted for Bush. I mean, literally, every single one of them. This phenomenon can be easily explained, and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why. Southerners are just as insane and moronic as Bush. People tend to like their mirror images. However, I argue that these southerners should not be allowed to vote in the first place.

My argument is that you need to be an American to vote and I don’t think Southerners are true Americans.

1) Southerners don’t even speak the Standard American Accent. I don’t know what they are speaking, but it sure sounds worse than British and Australian accents. Just you know, even Britons and Australians are not allowed to vote in US, let alone the Southerners.

2) There are quite a lot Southerners still want to bring their old confederate flags back and claim independency. If they won’t even want to be a part of the United States, why should they be invited to vote?

3) True American spirit is about liberty, democracy, and freedom. However, since southern states are still a place where discriminations against minorities are rampant, they are nowhere close to be considered “American”. You are not an American if you don’t have a true American soul.

4) Americans are humans. Southerners are not. They have all sorts of bizarre behaviors that force you to believe that they may be the descendents of some alien species. They wear cowboy hats everywhere even when they are driving a car. Who else does that?! They listen to something called country music 24/7. Who else does that?! They always have a shotgun underneath their pillows. Who else does that?! The list goes on and on. Face it, you know I am right.

In short, I don’t like Southerners and I don't think they should be allowed to vote. I am serious, and I really don’t.

Friday, October 29, 2004

Undecided Voters

It’s funny that in every poll regarding the presidential election there are approximately 6% undecided voters. En, interesting.... Undecided voters.... Hmm.... My question is “How the heck can you still be UNDECIDED when there is only four days left before the election??” Are you kidding me? I believe the ones who still claim to be undecided are simply trying to piss the pollsters off. Come on, after such long exhausting presidential campaign, you’d be lying if you haven’t heard both candidates at least 1,000 times on TV. For anyone on the US soil, regardless how apathetic you are toward politics, you should be able to form some kind of opinion already, one way or the other. If you still fail to make a choice and lable yourself as an undecided voter at this moment, you should be locked up in the Bronx zoo to be exhibited as “The Mysterious Brainless Humanoids”.

These undecided voters are like ghosts. They never die and keep coming back to haunt you. I bet you that even if a pollster conducts a poll on November 3rd, a day after the general election, there would still be around 6% of these legendary creatures. Surreal.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

My Dream Jobs (1)

I want to be a detective. I want to be able to make this world a better place by bringing those scum-bags to justice. I won’t be a good cop in the eyes of a D.A. (District Attorney) though, since I tend to get dirty and use excessive forces at times. I see myself ending my career in an internal affair investigation. I may die at the age of 40 due to the complication of a bullet wound that I suffered in my early detective years.

I want to be a movie star. Quick money and lavish life style are just too hard to resist. It’s wonderful to have fans cheering for you all the time, regardless what you do. But I hate signing autograph, reading fans’ emails, and appearing on those lame celebrity shows. I know my career is over when I inevitably made some comments on some of my ugly fans and some stupid reporters. To make the things worse, I may also comment a bit on our beloved government. I probably die of some strange cancer, which is the result of my previous unhealthy life style.

I want to be a theoretical physicist. Quantum Mechanics fascinates me. I don’t mind wearing a pair of thick glasses and spend 12 hours a day in a lab doing something, or even nothing. I want to be another Erwin Schrodinger, Niels Bohr, or Albert Einstein, the Greatest physicists in human history. However, I may most likely to be just an average Joe (Physicist Edition) because of my uninspiring IQ score and lack of creativity. I probably commit a suicide at the age of 45 as a result of prolonged depression. I could die alone, unmarried, and no kids (a dog and couple friends maybe). Oh boy, this is really really sad.

(To be continued)

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

蹩脚英语 (转载)

①If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

日本旅馆:如果您想调节您房间的温度,请控制您自己。

②Please don't feed the animals. If you have any food, please give it to the guard on duty.

匈牙利动物园:请不要给动物喂食。如果您有食品,请喂给值班警卫。

③Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

挪威酒吧:女士们不要在酒吧里生孩子。

④Fur coats made for ladies from their skins.

瑞典皮货商店:为女士们制作的皮大衣,是用她们的皮制成的。

⑤Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

香港牙科诊所:由最新的卫理公会教徒给您拔牙。

⑥Drop your trousers here for best results.

泰国的干洗店:在这里脱掉您的裤子,等待最好的结果。

⑦Specialist in women and other diseases.

意大利妇科诊所:我们是women和其他疾病的专家。

⑧Welcome to the cemetery where famous Russian artists are buried daily except Thursday.

俄国公墓:欢迎访问这个公墓,许多著名的俄国艺术家每天埋在这里,但星期四不埋。

⑨We take your bags and send them in all directions.

丹麦机场:我们将拿走您的行李,送往四面八方。

地铁与化妆室

我一直闹不懂的一个问题就是为什么有些女的喜欢在地铁里化妆。在我看来,化装应该是件非常私人的事情,大多在洗手间完成的。在大庭广众,众目睽睽下怡然自得的打扮是挺让我佩服的。今天早上看的那位女士就很夸张,根本不是什么简简单单的擦擦口红那种,她可是大包小包的武器弹药一大堆,足足花了五分钟。当她画眼线的时候,那炭笔真的就和她的眼珠差之毫厘。我当时就想,如果一个地铁急刹车那怎么办?那真就是Halloween提前到了。当然今天早上的还不是最夸张的,我有一次晚上坐地铁,有个女郎在地铁里除了化妆,还居然抬起大腿开始穿长腿丝袜,换高跟鞋。周围的人都看傻了,吓得几个中国老太太都往另一个车厢跑。

其实这些都不是最让我反感的,我最受不了就是在地铁里梳头的,特别是那些一边梳还一边甩头的那种。我一看就怒从胆边生。最恶心的是,她们往往梳完头了,还把梳子上梳下来的头发一把撸下来,搓成一个团,然后很潇洒的往地上一丢。啊,光想想这个,我就要昏倒了!太恶心了!!!

Thursday, October 21, 2004

珠宝与游戏

今天中午出去买饭的时候,发现一家钻石珠宝店门上竟然贴了一大堆GTA-San Andreas 的广告彩报,不禁莞尔。GTA就是Grand Theft Auto系列,历史上最卖座的暴力游戏,里面讲究的是黑帮里的杀人,放火,抢银行,并且要能够事后开一手快车来逃之夭夭。如果实在不行被警察包围了,就和他们疯狂驳火来杀出一条血路。所以很多所谓的“正义人士”都大力谴责这个游戏,说它有带坏小孩之嫌,呵呵。现在居然发现在珠宝店门上作这种游戏的广告,实在觉得有点幽默,不知道这个商店的老板在想什么。

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

To beg or not to beg, that's the question

If you have been riding the Subway in New York City long enough, you should have witnessed or encountered some quite amusing, or even sometimes bizarre and disgusting, things on the train. Beggars, a profession that probably is as old as our ancient Great Wall, are definitely something you see quite often. Quite frankly, I have long past the initial sympathy stage and in general I don’t believe in solicitation. I honesly think that in a city like New York, you really don’t have to beg to make a living unless you are absolutely lazy. However, I still like them. One aspect about them never fails to entertain me: the reasons or excuses they insist for their mishaps.

I have heard all kinds of reasons. Some are dull, some are creative, and some are even fantastic. Below are the ones that I can remember:
(1) My house was on fire. I lost everything.
(2) My house was on fire right after my property insurance expired for just two days. I lost everything. (I personally like this one a lot. The extra detail really helps.)
(3) I am a drug addict and I lost my job. I am going through rehabilitation right now and I am hungry. (I always want to ask him/her “If you are in rehab, how can you get out begging then?”)
(4) I got AIDS. All my money is spent on treatment.
(5) I got fired. I need to feed four kids at home.
(6) I lost my arm in an accident and lost my ability to work. (For the ones that are disabled, I am more than willing to show my sympathy by offering them a buck or two.)
(7) I am a veteran and the government denied my pension.
(8) I lost my job four months ago. Then I started begging to make a living. Thank you for your support that I survived these four months and finally got a new job in a super market. But the new job doesn’t pay well and I still have to beg to pay my rent. (This one is truly original and I almost laughed out loud in the train when I heard it for the first time.)
(9) I am trying to raise enough money to go to a school. Please help me.
(10) You guys may have seen me a lot of times. Maybe sicken tired of my voice and my face. OK, I won’t tell you my side of the story and please just spare me some change if you can. (I guess the best excuse is no excuse.)

The last one is what I heard yesterday. I was impressed by his creativity.
(11) Due to the poor weather condition, my flight is delayed. I have no extra money to buy anything to eat and please help me. (Great, we got a rich-enough-to-travel-but-too-poor-to-afford-a-meal tourist in town.)

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Haven't write for a while

I have to confess that I have sin. One of those seven cardinal sins of human nature: Sloth. I feel sorry for my loyal readers, if I have any. I will continue writing from now on and won't give myself any excuses, such as work or anything else. Actually as time went on in the past two weeks, I had more and more to say but less and less courage and time to write all them down. I tried to write a super long post to record my thoughts and entertain my readers, but I always stopped after I realized how long it could potentially take.

But today I just told myself: Hey, don't push yourself. Just write anything in your mind and be happy. haha.... I am happy now.

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

The Presidential Race is Wonderful!

I have been following this presidential election ardently for the past several weeks. I watched both the 1st presidential and the vice-presidential debate, listened to those political analysts on CNN, read online political Blogs, and even studied the much-criticized Electoral College system. One thing I can honestly say after all these: I love democracy!!!

Don’t get me wrong though. I am not claiming democracy is the savior to all the sins in this world. I do know that democracy has its serious limitations. In some cases, it can fail miserably. (Well, just look at this guy right now and you know what I mean.) The line between democracy and dictatorship can be unbelievably blurred sometimes. Average Joes, like you and me, are always the ones that got pushed around and abused. However, when you watch those guys debating on TV, you have to laugh and tip your hat for their effort. Take Mr. Bush for an example: during the first debate you can definitely tell that he is not well-equipped to handle situations like this. He simply couldn’t talk and eventually made a great fool out of himself in the first debate. There were moments he even had problems locating his own tongue. Nonetheless, he has tried his best to impress the viewers and attract potential voters. This is what I love about democracy: the EFFORT that’s been displayed.

It’s not about the final result. (As I stated earlier, poor average Joes always suffer and wealthy assholes always rule regardless how the government is constructed.) It’s all about the effort. Presidential candidates will get down on their knees if by doing that they can win more votes. They will try their best to please you. This is done in two steps. Step 1: Set up numerous polls to ask people various questions on all kinds of topics. Step 2: Candidates pretend to be your friend by saying the things majority of the people like or support. Repeat these two steps over and over, and you get a Presidential race. (Of course, you need to get dirty if you seriously want to win. Tricks such as demonizing or womanizing your opponent may help.) Candidates all invest a great deal in a race, including time, energy, and money. Candidates also have to face potential public humiliation and ridicule day-in and day-out. Politics is a tough business and no one wins easy. All these effort displayed by candidates to win the general public's heart is exactly the fundamental difference between democracy and autocracy. In an autocracy, the government bacially are uninterested in you, and two way dialogs are rare and discouraged. They genuinely don’t give a damn about how you feel. They won’t even attempt to lie to you to make you happy. They don’t do polls on sensitive topics. They don’t need your inputs. You are always the last one to be informed on any critical decisions. As a mater of fact, they don’t even want you to think (let alone the talking part), but rather they just want you to listen and follow. This effortlessness is something really bothers me. It hurts my pride and amplifies my insignificance, especially when pride is something that I don’t have much left and my insignificance is something that I hate people to remind me of.

Therefore, I like democracy better. The illusion of being important is simply beautiful.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

美好的?糟糕的?

中秋节是美好的,但因为下雨而看不了月亮是糟糕的;因为下雨而看不了月亮是糟糕的,但当下雨的时候正好挎包里有把伞是美好的;当下雨的时候正好挎包里有把伞是美好的,但这把伞碰巧顶上有个洞是糟糕的;打的伞碰巧顶上有个洞是糟糕的,但可以去上公司赞助的英语提高班是美好的;上公司赞助的英语提高班是美好的,但因为上课而没时间吃饭导致肚子咕咕叫是糟糕的;没时间吃饭导致肚子咕咕叫是糟糕的,但发现教室旁有自动售货机并且吃里面的薯片吃的摇头晃脑是美好的;吃薯片吃的摇头晃脑是美好的,但吃完才发现一小包里居然含有400卡路里是糟糕的。

我昨天晚上到底是美好的,还是糟糕的?

Friday, September 24, 2004

一个很搞的签名档

这是我见过得最让人哭笑不得的签名档了,哈哈,仔细看吧

------------------------------------------
女口田亻尔厶匕手日月丿之文段讠舌,
......木.......月匕目.......日
那讠兑日月亻尔白勺
目艮目青有 亚千白勺土土..光
.................丿田 ........月攵
....................土

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

别了,我的懒人生涯

I am tired physically. I am exhausted mentally. I am on the verge of a complete breakdown. (Oh God, am I dying? My stomach hurts! I can’t breath! I must be dying!!! Damn, haven’t seen the movie [Napoleon Dynamite] yet. I hate to die young. Wait a second, am I just too hungry? Is the tie just a little too tight? OK, take a deep breath. Hmm.. I guess I am not dying then. Somewhat disappointed though.)

The workload eventually catches up with me. I can no longer afford fooling around at work now. Now I need to bring my “A” game to the table to please the people around me. My brain has to run at its full capacity to learn and grow to meet my boss’s high-but-reasonable expectations. I finally have to pay the price for my previous three years of underachievement. I could be so much more polished and resourceful if I took the job more seriously during the past several years. I have to admit that I feel more or less regretful at this very moment. From now on, I have no choice but to elevate my work-spirit level from Blue to Red (please refer to the Homeland Security Advisory System for more clarification). I will change for the better; I promise!

(Does it mean no more XBOX? Hell no, are you kidding me?)

Monday, September 20, 2004

The Movie - [Collateral]

Just saw it last Friday night and really liked it. [Collateral] is more than just a movie. It only not tells you an action-packed story, but also teaches you something about life. If you haven’t seen the movie yet, stop right here (warning: possible spoiler ahead!) and go to watch it in a movie theatre. You won’t regret it.

The story goes like this: Max (Jamie Foxx), a cab driver in LA, is trying to make a living by doing the right things in his life. His car is well maintained, ultra-clean. His attitude is great, both toward life and work. He is an excellent driver, extremely knowledgeable about various routes and traffic conditions. However, for whatever reason he is still just a cab driver that tries to make a living. One night, he meets an unusual customer, Vincent (Tom Cruise), who offers him $600 for one night cab service. Max decides to take this seemingly simple but lucrative job. However, Vincent turns out to be a professional contract killer, who is on a quest to kill 5 people for the night. That is where the real excitement starts. Max now is facing all the dangers that he has never faced before, the professional hit man, the underground mafia, and the relentless LAPD. Can Max survive all these? How would the entire story unfold? You better find out the answers yourself.

Here are the things that I learned from the movie:
  1. Being nice is not always enough.
  2. The best way to solve a problem is to face it directly without fear.
  3. A dream is only a dream unless you really start working on it.
  4. We shall identify our friends and foes unambiguously, then treat them accordingly.
  5. Self-confidence is our greatest asset.
  6. Life is not about planning. It is all about improvising.
In the end, Max exists in every one of us. He is the epitome of our society. However, just like Max we all have the strength to make a difference once we are truly determined.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

[Dream On] by Aerosmith

This song has been in my mind for quite some years, even though I’ve only heard it bit by bit couple times. The first time I heard it was approximately 8 years ago when I was watching a NIKE commercial on TV. That commercial was brilliantly made. Very powerful and emotional. The song was the soul. The second time I heard it was in the movie [Miracle]. Once again, I loved it. The song is like the devil’s music, constantly popping up in my head now and then. Today it just did again. That’s it. I will download this song tonight into my IPOD and enjoy it for the rest of my life.

Here is the lyric:

Every time that I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face getting clearer
The past is gone
It went by like dusk to dawn
Isn't that the way
Everybody's got their dues in life to pay

Yeah, I know nobody knows
Where it comes and where it goes
I know it's everybody's sin
You got to lose to know how to win

Half my life's in books' written pages
Live and learn from fools and from sages
You know it's true
All the things come back to you

Sing with me, sing for the years
Sing for the laughter and sing for the tears
Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you away

Dream on, dream on, dream on,
Dream yourself a dream come true
Dream on, dream on, dream on,
and dream until your dream comes true
Dream on [7x]

Monday, September 13, 2004

自我提高与自虐

[Fight Club]里的Tyler Durden说过这样一句话:“Self-improvement is masturbation; Self-destruction is the answer.”这句话具体什么意思,那就仁者见仁,智者见智了,你最好自己去看看电影再琢磨琢磨。但在他眼中,Self-improvement和Self-destruction在根本上是对立的。但我这两天突然觉得两者之间的距离其实远没有我们想象得那么远。自身提高的过程其实也就是自我否定的过程,简单的说也就是一自虐的过程。自虐其实比较危险,要是弄得不好,就虐出一个毫无自信心,depressed的潜在自杀者,但一旦虐好了,那可就是醍醐灌顶,更上层楼。比如说我从前从来不跳舞,嘿嘿,就是因为不太会跳,特没自信,每次和朋友出去,一说到跳舞就浑身不舒服。但这几天,在未婚妻的鼓励下,还居然跳了好几回舞,结果我居然还越跳越喜欢,现在在地铁上听到什么都想扭一把。困扰我多年的跳舞恐惧症现在也治的差不多了。再说说健身吧,我以前尽管也总想变成个肌肉男,但总觉得去健身房太麻烦,而且每次特别怕健身后那种浑身又酸又疼的感觉。但不久前,在一哥们儿的教唆下,加入了一个gym,现在每礼拜也居然练的不亦乐乎,身子骨也壮实很多。所以我总结出这么一点:To improve yourself is to do the things you feel least comfortable with. 现在我正盯着桌面上的这本FAS 140呢,奶奶的,我盯着着封面都盯了5分钟了,这破东西是我最不想看的,但根据我的逻辑,嘿嘿,这一关恐怕我是逃不掉的啦。

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

上班的时候困了怎么办?

每天上班上到下午2点左右的时候,我一般都是像条死鱼一样翻着白眼,努力的挣扎着,挣扎着不要落入睡魔的圈套。这么多年了,在与睡魔作斗争的光辉岁月里,我也是总结了几条克敌的妙计,不妨与大家分享一下。

第一条,平时要多锻炼,勤上gym,理论上讲运动可以让人更精神,真正效果嘛,就因人而异了。第二条,咖啡泡茶,这东西很提神,主要原因倒不是因为咖啡因什么的,而是因为它实在太难喝,属于是喝一口就打一哆嗦的那种东西。 第三条,多喝果汁,维他命不仅提神,还增强免疫力,好东西啊。第四条,千万别穿的太暖和,电脑前,吃饭后,一暖和,准睡着。所以穿得越少越好,条件允许的话,不妨试试穿着裤头背心对比一下。第五条,发现困的时候,赶快找同事聊天,而且一定要站着聊,这样越聊越精神。第六条,那圆珠笔用力戳自己的手心。注意,动作要领就是用力,要做到快,准,狠。第七条,去洗手间用冷水泼脸。越冷越好,而且出去的时候不要把水完全擦干,40%左右的湿度最好,碰上办公室的空调这么一吹,很提神。如果有必要的话,用双掌左右开弓的抽自己几下嘴巴子,可以增强效果150%左右。 第八条,去自己的股票账户看看Account Balance,这招最近对我非常好用,每次都是看得汗流浃背,一点也不困了。

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

美与丑

关于婴儿就可以分辨美丑的说法,我好久前就听说过,但当时就很诧异,很有点将信将疑。我一直觉得美丑的观念是后天形成的,是社会文化熏陶下的产物,就和脚气似的,天生是不会有的,都是后来慢慢闷出来的。今天又看到这个,不由感叹人类的神奇。美丑天生有定论也是有道理的,比如说不论东西方文化,没有人会说丑,更没有人会说美。看来,天生的统一标准还是有现实根据的。但问题是,到底到底什么是丑?什么是美?如何定义啊?我知道对称(symmetry)是美,但其他的就不知道了。嗯,让我好好回家做一下research吧。

Friday, September 03, 2004

自我简介

未名交友的首页上,会简单的列出一些ID的信息(网名,年龄,和自我介绍)。但由于空间有限等的种种原因,自我介绍也是最笑料百出的地方。以下就是我收集的一些比较搞笑的自我简介了。

1,某女ID,自我简介: Where is my soul
这的确挺吓人的,刚看的时候,我一下打一激灵,这不是闹鬼么?我一点进去,才发现后面还有一个mate?因为space不够没有显示出来,我这才长舒一口气。

2,某男ID,自我简介: looking for female friends to kill
这又是一个不看不知道,一看吓一跳的东西。我当时的反应立马就是:“What the …. ?!”我知道德国有个变态,常年登报纸去找人来吃,真想不到也中国留学生里也有人上网去找女的来杀啊。我不由点了一下他的ID,终于看明白了后,又是长舒一口气,原来最后是time!

3,某女ID,自我简介: I open my heart for you
我知道为什么,我一看这个,眼前就浮现出一个具血淋淋的开了膛的女尸。看CSI看多了真有后遗症啊。我现在写着写着都有点恶心呢。

4,某女ID,自我简介: Fragile Heart
我真不知道是我有问题,还是这种说法歧义,反正我一下就想到冠心病啊,心血栓啊什么的。我还以为这个女孩有什么先天心脏疾病,特别需要别人的悉心呵护,很琼瑶的感觉。后来才发现我全猜错了,人家不过是说她感情上容易受伤罢了,不是很琼瑶,而是很王菲的感觉。我好失败啊。

5,某女ID,自我简介: I’m waiting for you for 27 years
这个也很恐怖,原来这个世界上有个等我等了27年的人,而我确完全不知道!!!我也就刚刚27岁,换句话说,她应该在我刚刚出生,甚至我还在我妈肚子里的时候就开始等我了。Hmm… That’s pretty freaky. 我大概应该给她写封信吧,好歹她也是等了我27年的人啊。Let me think about it.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Lucid Dream -- Free Your Mind

第一次听到Lucid Dream这种说法,还是我女朋友告诉我的。大约一个半月前吧,New York Times上有一片文章专门介绍了这个东西,我女朋友看了之后觉得很有意思,就很兴奋的与我分享。但当时我还是糊里糊涂的,也不大明白到底是什么意思,反正不就是做梦么。第二次碰到这个名词,是在一部名为 [Waking Life] 的动画片里出现的(也是我女朋友买的DVD)。这部片子总体来说非常另类,反正我们还没看完呢,很有点哲学的味道,其中通过主角与他人的对话,阐述了很多稀奇古怪的哲学,科学,和道德伦理上的概念,其中Lucid Dream也是其中的一个话题。那到底什么是Lucid Dream? 通俗的话说就是Though some properly-designed training and conditioning to increase your awareness in the dream, and eventually develop the ability to recognize and control your dream while you are dreaming.

But some people may argue “So what? What’s the point of controlling the dream? It’s just the dream after all. It’s not real!”

I would actually answer these questions by asking more questions first. “How do you define dream and reality?” “How can you tell the difference between dream and reality? Don’t dreams always feel so real?” “How do you know that the time you believed you are dreaming is not the time that you are actually awake? Or vice versa?” Or the simpler question is “how are you so sure that you are not dreaming as of now?” For me the line between dream and reality can get really blur. Aren’t they both the result of the brain’s interpretation of various neural electronic impulses? We, humans, devote all our time and energy to live a better life, the life we narrowly defined as the time that we are physically awake with clear consciousness. This type of life only constitutes 2/3 of our natural biological life span. The worst part is that we are extremely vulnerable in this waking stage. Our life can be terminated in a split second, like being hit by a car or something. That’s why being able to control the other 1/3 of the life span sounds so appealing. Within this 1/3, we are free of harm, disease, gravitational limitation, physical laws, social pressures, moral conflicts, and all other things that are really pain in the ass in the so called “real world”. In dreams, we are the ultimate God! You can be anything you ever wanted to be, and you can do anything you ever wanted to do. You can be a professional basketball superstar, living large. You can drive the fanciest car as fast as you want on the highway with no cops around. You can even fly, with any kind of woman as your companion if you desire. You can even battle the aliens with your God-like power. Isn’t that just wonderful? I guess people always say “work harder toward a better life”, but someday it may well change to “dream harder toward a better life”. There are few people who actually harness this Lucid Dream power, and what they do all day long is just to eat, sleep, and dream (and getting fat as a side effect I presume, but hey, who cares? In dreams, people won’t judge you at all!). 这也就是中文里经常说的:“吃饱喝足了,没事干,天天睡大觉。”唯一的不同是这帮Lucid Dreamer们不是没事干,他们其实挺忙的,忙着做梦。

The toughest part of enjoying the dream is to realize that you are dreaming. Through my limited dreaming career, I only clearly figured that out twice. But both dream ended abruptly after I realized the truth. En… I should definitely try harder next time to stay in the dream a little bit longer. There are many little things to check to see if you are dreaming. (1) Does it hurt when you bite your fingers? (2) Can you turn of the light in the room? Does the switch work? (3) Can you see things clearly? (4) Can you pee freely without much difficulty? For me, the fundamental question that you need to ask is “Does the whole setup make sense?” If you got negative answers to all these questions, 99% of the time you are dreaming. Then, you can start doing some crazy shit that you always fanaticize to do, i.e., the South Park “Kick The Baby” stunt. (Just like what Morpheus said in [The Matrix], that would be the perfect time to “free you mind”.) Let’s all one day become a fat ass Lucid Dreamer!! Yeah!!!

我错了,我改还不行么?

昨天晚上看到这个帖子后,久久不能入睡。结果今天早上双眼布满血丝,经过一宿的反思,终于从内心深处发现了自己做人残缺的一面。哎,我错了!!!我犯的就是和那个作者一样的毁灭性错误啊!!!

刚刚8点一到公司,我就开始上网,去访问了我各个朋友的BLOG,一边流着泪,一边回帖。我不奢求朋友的宽恕,因为我是个罪人,但从现在开始,我一定不会再看帖不回帖了!!!

哎,上网看帖,本来挺美好的一件事.......

Monday, August 30, 2004

话说张艺谋 (看奥运闭幕式有感)

昨天晚上因为突然听说有奥运会闭幕式,并且有我们中国帅哥美女的表演,结果我在外头吃完晚饭就奔回家蹲点(和哥们本来约好的桌球都没打,很对不起他啊)。但看完那短短的几分钟表演之后,嘴巴里就像是嚼了半天的蜡,也说不出是个什么滋味。节目开始之前,我还是相当兴奋的,仿佛回到了小时候抱着个小板凳和我哥去看露天电影的年代,期待的感觉让我手心微微的冒汗。但看着看着,我就发现张艺谋那注册商标式的恶俗像野草一样蔓延在镜头的各个角落。哎,张艺谋啊张艺谋,怎么让我夸一次你就这么难呢??

大致上说俗有两种,一种是粗俗,一种是恶俗。粗俗比较容易理解,嘿嘿,向我这种喜欢喝啤酒打游戏,外加哼哼郑钧的“赤裸裸”之流,就可以算得上这类俗吧。但是传说中的恶俗则不多见。这种俗的关键就是尽管俗的一塌糊涂,但死活不承认,硬说是高雅艺术,谁要是不服,就跟谁急的那种俗。就说说张艺谋昨天的表演吧:他所一直强调的中西通融,在昨天晚上看来充其量不过是一堆高个美女穿着改良过的露着半截屁股的旗袍,一边弹琵琶,一边跳钢管舞。他平时标榜的中国艺术,也不过就是让一群人打扮得像牛头马面一样,踩着高跷挑着大红灯笼来回踏正步。他批评希腊那广受赞誉的开幕式与观众距离太远(真是不知者无畏啊),所以他就安排了一大堆假唱的演员穿着56个民族的服装站在台上像木偶一样一动不动的高唱义勇军进行曲。如果张艺谋再安排他们多唱几句什么“今儿呀么老百姓啊,真呀么真高兴啊”,就真绝了。张艺谋的想象力显然已经随着年龄,消退的了无痕迹了。他照例又上了一个小孩来收尾,去挣些同情分。他就希望老外充满怜爱的来一句:“Oh… that’s so cute” 这又不是什么华东水灾义演,真不知道搞这些干什么。我其实最烦就是动不动上来个小孩,瞎唱瞎闹几下就逼你鼓掌。这些小孩还常常在演出里要穿着个小肚兜,一边像吃了摇头丸一样的狂甩头,一边像蚂蚱一样乱蹦,相当可怜。这些当导演的真不是东西,人家好端端的孩子,你这么折腾人家干嘛?

张艺谋作为恶俗派掌门人,是相当理直气壮的。你要说他的东西不好,他肯定会先一脸阴沉的看你半天,然后轻蔑的来一句:“艺术,你懂个屁。”张艺谋走火入魔也不是一天两天了,早期的电影我还是比较欣赏的,毕竟有点新思维,有点开山宗师的味道,尽管可能不是人人都喜欢。但现在他就像个太监,老是做些东西来取悦主子。新思想是没有的了,就靠画面的华丽来吸引人。这点我觉得这是最大的堕落。电影的美丽在于思路和故事,而不是单纯的画面。要不然我自己买些世界各地的明信片,做成幻灯片来看看好了。精美的画面只是用来衬托故事情节的;完全脱离故事情节的美丽就像没有生命的木偶,再漂亮也无法勾起观众的欲望。但张艺谋现在几乎所有的片子,都是画面唯美论的产物。弱智的情节和做作的演出加上金色的稻谷和血红的夕阳,再来几个广角的远镜就是一部非常经典的张艺谋作品。(呵呵,这就是大名鼎鼎的“英雄”啊)

张艺谋,我真有点受不了你了!!!!

Thursday, August 26, 2004

The question that I hate the most, as a New Yorker

I’ve been in New York for approximately four years. Throughout the years there is that one type of questions that people always ask about New York. The question usually starts something like “I will spend couple days in New York this weekend. Is it safe there?” This kind of bullshit question always pisses me off. The dumb ass who asks the questions probably thinks New York as a gigantic shit hole that only rats and cockroaches survive. We, New Yorkers, are like some sort of mutants that possess a special power to endure all the harshness in this city. People are constantly under attack in the Subway system, either been stabbed or raped. When the nights arrive, only whores and murderers roam on the streets. Apparently this dumb ass’s life is extraordinarily precious and s/he needs some extra confirmation that spending couple days in New York is not a life threatening event, despite of the fact that there are over 8 million people living and breathing in the city everyday.

So now if people ask me the same question, I usually say “Yeah, it’s pretty bad here. Bullets flying and people dying. If I were you, I definitely stay away from it. OK, now please excuse me and I’ve got a party to go.”

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Is Coffee Diuretic?

Had two conference calls from 2pm to 4pm today. As you may know, 2pm is always toughest time for me to stay awake and pretend to be productive. To avoid any potential embarrassing moments happen again (i.e., waken up by my boss in the middle of the call) , I went to the restroom twice around 1:45pm to put some cold water on my face to refresh myself. To enhance the effect, I even slapped my face, both sides, in a brutal fashion that you may think I was doing it to someone else. But, sadly it was still not enough. I have to rely on my final option. Ten minutes later, I was holding a double shot Espresso from Starbucks sitting quietly at a corner in the conference room 7D.

However, the reason why I survived that boring two hours was not because of caffeine’s magical power over our brains. Honestly, caffeine is over-rated and it just doesn’t do much for me. I was awake simply because I was constantly going to the restroom like a little monkey with a tiny ass that keeps drinking water! Coffee always has the diuretic effect on me and that’s why I always regard coffee as a final resort to stay awake. But is coffee really diuretic? Or am I just some kind of anomaly that should be studied intensively by some genetic-scientists? I’ve heard conflicting stories about the diuretic thing. As a pure coffee lover, my girlfriend swears that the coffee is harmless, at least not the diarrhea part. However, some of my colleagues believe otherwise. Hmm…… very intriguing……. But you know what, whenever I have an unanswered question, there is always that one guy to ask. He is always there for me, 24/7, and his name is Google.

Here are some of the results after I typed in “Is Coffee Diuretic?”:
www.cosic.org/caffeine/diureticeffects/
http://coffeefaq.com/caffaq.html
http://www.ific.org/foodinsight/2002/ja/caffdehydnbfi402.cfm
http://www.tipsofallsorts.com/coffee.html

OK, the fact is I am more confused than ever after reading through all these websites. Some says it is diuretic, ranging from mildly to moderate depending on the dosage. Some says it’s no more diuretic than water. Some says it depends on the person that you are asking to. So, I guess the question remains unsolved: Is Coffee Diuretic?

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

The Beauty of Sports

竞技体育是种偶然性很大的东西。换句粗俗点的话说就是,什么操蛋的事在体育场上都可能发生。这次雅典奥运也是如此,看到现在为止,有几个结果实在是不可思议。

(1)中国男子双人3米板跳水,最后一跳得零分。看跳水,从小到大也看了不少了,但得零分还真是没见过。跳水这东西,只要一打上Made In China的烙印,理论上说就是质量保证了。这已经都不是什么“大跌眼镜”了,而是跌了一跟头,别说眼镜了,门牙都飞了。

(2)男子三项50米射击。美国的哥们居然最后一发打错靶了,成绩变成0环,这不是硬生生的把金牌使劲往中国选手兜里塞么。我们再不笑纳,就真看不起人家了。打错靶了?!这个比不可思议还不可思议。就像我们的射击教练说得那样:“射击场上偶然性比较大,什么事都可能发生。但就我这几十年的经验而言。。。嗯。。。嗯。。。这么直接就打错靶的,还。。。还。。。还真么有见过”

(3)中国篮球最后一场击败前世界冠军南斯拉夫,闯进男篮8强。上一场我们还输意大利37分呢,现在面对一个刚刚打败了意大利的对手,没有人会猜到我们会赢。我是人,所以我压根也没有想过什么赢球。首先我要说说篮球输37分是什么概念,就是足球将近7:0的概念,就是男的和女的掰手腕的概念,就是初中的胖子揍小学的瘦子的概念,简单的说,那就是“没的玩”!就这么样,我们竟然扳倒了前南斯拉夫,得,就两字吧,“牛逼!!”

But isn't the whole point of competitive sports all about uncertainties? Isn't the upset stories always the ones that people talk about years after years? Don't we all somehow love to see the underdogs beat the shit out of the favorites?

I guess all these are just beautiful!!!!

Monday, August 23, 2004

Alaska的男男女女

大老板刚刚从阿拉斯加放假回来,今天就和我们说了说他的所见所闻。他说阿拉斯加差不多占了美国20%的领土面积,但人口极度稀少,总共才大约60万的样子。其中男女比例失调更是厉害,过去曾经一度达到10比1(男比女)。近些年好像好点(3比1),州政府一直在很努力的去吸引女性移民者的加入(提供各种优惠政策等等)。所以Alaska当地有种很有意思的说法:“If you are a woman looking for man here, the odds are good, but the goods are odd.”

有点意思,呵呵

Friday, August 20, 2004

一个可怕的陷阱

有一天和女朋友聊天,不知道聊到什么的时候
女朋友突然问我:“你是不是白痴?”
“不是!”我坚决地说
“那你是不是猪头?”
“不是!”
“那你是不是癞皮狗?”
“不是!别问这些白痴问题了”我有点不耐烦了,好无聊啊
“那你肯定是猪才怪了”她很坚决地说
“胡说八道,我不是猪才怪!!!”我气的大叫起来

突然,她爆发出一阵“嘎嘎嘎嘎”的狂笑。“咚”的一声,她居然一个跟头翻在地上,笑的满地打滚。

我一回味,才明白怎么回事,嘿嘿,大家以后都当心点类似的问题吧。

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

我的新发现

这几天雅典奥运会正在如火如荼的进行着,通过我这几天对比赛的细心观察,发现了中国体育代表队的一个惊人的进步:中国的女运动员是越来越好看了!!

我一直认为中国男运动员的在过去众多项目中的持续低迷不简简单单是个人种的问题。 There is definitely something more to it. 思考良久才恍然大悟,会不会是和女运动员的长相有关系呢?中国男女选手都是一起训练得,都是那种长期集训的制度。如果女选手相貌实在抑郁食欲,男选手肯定会或多或少的有点营养不良等症状;如果女选手秀色可餐,男选手身体强壮之余更会努力锻炼来表现自己。嗯。。。很有道理啊。。。。。至于为什么女的就利害呢,也不见男的很帅啊?嗯,那是因为女孩都比较注重内在美啊,不像男的那么肤浅,呵呵

比如说跳水,一直以来男女都很强,男的和女的一样出色。呵呵,因为跳水的女的美女一向不少啊,从最初的高敏,到后来的伏明霞,直到现在的郭晶晶都是美女啊,男的自然很努力了。

再看看游泳,男的一直都很面,因为你看看那些女的,以前的所谓四朵金花就别提了,一个个浓眉大眼,膀粗腰圆的,乍一看也分不清是男是女。现在好不容易出了个美女罗雪娟,但还是个胳膊肘向外拐的,喜欢上了日本gg。这肯定又让很多男选手们伤透了心,所以男的也就一直是面瓜了。

hohoho,这也算看奥运的感想吧。

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Computer vs. Mute button

如果我问你:What is the most critical invention in the office space? 很多人会毫不犹豫的回答,电脑啊。但最近我越来越觉得是另外一个东西,它好像很不起眼,但其实在我们实在少不了它,那就是电话上的 mute button。

现在给个实例吧:
前几天有个电话会议,客户正在发言:“I think we should try a different structure... such as ...xxx.... xxx....”
这时候有个SVP就按了一下 mute,然后就是:“What a fucking idiot!! I told him numerous times that his whatever structure doesn’t work... xxx... xxx.... We need to use our structure.... What a waste of my fucking time!!”
同时客户还在不疾不徐的说:“........ In that way, we can save some money and ....xxx..... What do you guys think?”
那个SVP马上又按了一下mute,恢复到通话状态,“I definitely agree with you that .... xxx...xxxx... what you said makes a lot of sense.... However, if we look at the market conditions as of this very moment.... xxx.... xxxx.... we still believe that our structure gives you the most bang-for-the-buck.”
客户一听,很开心的说:“if that’s the case, let’s proceed with your proposed structure then.”

坐在旁边的我就一直在思考这个问题:“如果那个mute button哪天malfunction了会怎么样?” 客户会不会马上在另一端对骂呢? 还是假装没听见?还是??我是不是应该某一天让它“失灵”一下呢??我越想越觉得好笑,就不禁笑出声来,居然引来数人侧目。

所以我真觉得这个mute按钮学问太大了,如果没了的话,conference call真不知道会变成什么样呢

Thursday, August 05, 2004

Summer Breeze

今天天气真好
蓝天白云,微风习习,不冷不热的
呆在办公室室真是浪费了

说起天气,纽约的这个夏天可是我呆过最舒服的
比前几年凉快多了,
别说100度的日子了,90度都不常有
好奇怪

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

乐极生悲

妈的,刚才听歌听的兴起,手舞足蹈
居然被同事看到了
而且他们还是那种看了半天都不吱声的那种
好没面啊

I am very happy today!

今天心情巨好,跟吃了耗子药似的

经过几天的痛苦搏斗,终于在工作上能喘口气了;
老板同事都飞到各地去了,这里黎明静悄悄。
我呢,一边上班偷闲,一边拿着女朋友新送的 IPOD 欣赏王菲那近乎神奇的美妙歌喉,加上Kobe这口猪又被另一个女证人出来指正性骚扰,我真是好开心噢!!
(学台湾小女生双手放在胸口,张大眼睛,眼泪汪汪的欣喜若狂状)

Monday, August 02, 2004

网上的人和路上的屎

今天在网上看到了关于对蜗牛捐款的讨论,看完之后更进一步加强了我对 Mitbbs 的两个认识:

(1)傻B到处有,网上特别多
(2)Fighting online is like competing for special Olympics. Even if you win, you are still retarded.

所以现在我脾气特好,看到什么变态帖子都是气定心闲的笑然处之。我的观点就是操蛋的人就和马路上狗拉的屎一样,总是有的。你不论怎么努力,它们是扫不干净的。你唯一能做到的就是走路的时候绕开它,而且你没有必要为了一滩屎而愤怒难过吧。

P.S. 怀念蜗牛http://www.miumiubebe.net

现场看球: Manchester United vs. AC Milan

星期六去现场看了一场球,曼联对AC Milan,但就在5分钟前,也就是比赛过了48小时之后,我都不知道到底谁赢了。刚刚给一个朋友打电话(他也去看了),才知道米兰最后通过射点球赢了。奶奶的,你说郁闷不郁闷?!

缘由是这样的:我们在比赛到88分钟的时候,我建议早点出体育场去坐车,毕竟有好几万人呢,要坐 Bus 回纽约的,没1万也8千。而且那时候曼联1比0领先,米兰全无扳平的气势,赶在人群前面先走一步是明智之举啊。谁知道该死的米兰就在90分钟左右,在门前混战中,把比分扳平,然后双方直接进入点球大战。朋友告诉我,射点球的时候可是紧张刺激,精彩纷呈。说得我是唉声叹气的直后悔,悔的肠子都青了。这次我是明白了,看曼联的比赛,真是不能早退场,跟当年冠军杯的决赛似的,吃一堑长一智吧。

再说说这场比赛里的大腕吧。毕竟第一次现场看到这些超大牌明星,我兴奋的心头小鹿乱撞。 可惜范尼没有来,他是猛男中的猛男啊。 马尔蒂尼这个老朽果然还是人老了,我就说他该退休了嘛,果然他的失误造就了斯科尔斯的进球。Giggs 是最让我失望的了,完全不在状态。唉,游戏里,每次我都重金购买的第一个就是他呀。内维尔永远那么规规矩矩,跑起来像个弱智一样。斯科尔斯跑起来倒挺帅,但就是长的像个弱智。不过他踢的真是很不错,怪不得次次英格兰国家队里都少不了他。卡富速度虽然慢,但位置感很好,边路上完全没有给Giggs 任何机会。米兰的8号(名字死活记不住)很强壮,在场上和小坦克一样横冲直撞,呵呵,可能也是小阿GON。Smith的一头金发在阳光下格外刺眼,他踢的也很卖命,好几次被马尔蒂尼和内斯塔粗暴的侵犯,这小孩每次都默默地承受,真是好孩子。

整场比赛精彩的场面不是特别多,没有我预期的好,但个别的小范围配合也是让人拍手叫绝的,也算值回票价了。就是那天晒了点,现在手臂还跟煮熟的螃蟹似的。

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Recommending a great sci-fi book

昨天晚上把The Gods Themselves看完了,强烈推荐,是一部很值得一看的小说

全书分成三部分
第一部分讲述地球上的事(t=0)
第二部分讲述在并行宇宙中同步发生的事件(t=0)
第三部分是说在月球殖民地上随后发生的事(t=1)

就和众多review的评价一样,第二部分是最精彩的。Asimov构想了一种和我们人类完全不同的外星生物,他们之间的 Social and Physical Interaction 非常的奇妙。刚开始看的时候会很糊涂,完全分不清东西南北,但逐渐的就会开始明白到底是怎么回事,那种感觉就好像喝酒一样,慢慢的上头,非常奇妙。

书的大意是说人类某一天发现了一种 Free Energy,没有代价,而且取之不尽,用之不竭。这种Energy是通过我们和并行宇宙(Para Universe)的相互作用产生的,but the fact is Every Thing Has a Catch. 终于有个科学家发现了这个毁灭性的 catch,但是会有人听他么??有人会相信他么??

呵呵,这本书也是 Nebula Award 的获奖者,如果你是 Sci-fi 迷的话,不容错过。

女朋友画的画

突然好佩服我女朋友啊,崇敬之情犹如滔滔江水连绵不绝

这几天她画了几幅画,放在网上了。我知道那个小恐龙是她画的,就已经佩服的五体投地了。那个小GON超级可爱,摇头晃脑的,傻傻的样子。她一说起就“嘎嘎嘎”的笑着说:“我就是GON,力大无穷!!”今天才知道那个 Raining Day 也是她画的(其实所有她的照片都是她自己画的),上班的时候偷偷的用电脑画的。我一听差点晕了,太牛了!!!!!!

我们公司同事看了之后都说亏了。这么样的才华就在朝九晚五里给埋没了。嗯,以后一定要鼓励她辞职去当画家,哈哈,让我这个没有文化的人也感染一些艺术气息,hoho!!

Monday, July 19, 2004

Friday, July 16, 2004

让我们奔向性小康

中国人很有创造性
中国人同时有一种很特殊的幽默
今天在文学城的新闻里看到一个单词充分的把这两点有机的结合在一起
这个单词就是“性小康”

这单词是在所谓什么中国性科学高级论坛上提出来的
我刚刚读到的时候差点把正在喝的水都喷到屏幕上
这样的突如其来的另类幽默经常弄得我措手不及

Friday, July 09, 2004

一个黑心的医生

我手腕受过伤,所以健身的时候诸多顾忌。过两天要再去找个医生看看了,希望这次可以彻底治好。其实我去年就看过医生,但那个医生非但病没治好,却惹得我肚子里一大堆火。

他当时给我看病的时候,也就东按一下,西按一下。问了些基本的问题,就给我开了一瓶消炎药,他觉得我是肌腱发炎了。我乖乖的坚持吃了一个月的药,疼痛感果然消失了,大喜,以为病也根除了。之后我收到一个账单,要我交$300的医药费。我很奇怪,他明明是我保险公司network里的医生啊,不是就交$20 co-pay就可以了么?但我也没有细想,就写了张支票给寄了。结果又过一个月,账单还是$300,而且我支票也没有被cash。我以为可能寄丢了支票,就又写了一张。两天后,居然前后两张支票都被cash了(我刚刚准备去挂失第一张支票呢)。我当时就很生气,这不是骗钱么??

我就跑到他办公室里(在一个医院里)去问个究竟。我问他到底是不是In-Network Doctor。他说不是,我大怒,就说你当初不是说你是In the Network么?他马上承认他当时的确说过他participate in the network。我立马就糊涂了,他不是在自打耳光么?他最后来一句我当场就要喷血,跳楼,抓狂,咬人的话,"I participate in the network as an out-of-network doctor."

我当时的第一反应就是想问他:"Are you fucking with me here???????"(但当时周围实在人挺多,就死忍了没问)

但我又问他为什么既收了$20的co-pay (as in network), 又同时charge我$300的费用(as out network),并且他cash了我两张支票,收了我双倍的钱。他马上答应一个礼拜就还我$320。可惜现在整整一年过去了,我一分钱都没见到。

就这样,我在光天化日下被人玩弄了。。。。。

社会再丑陋,美丽的一面总还是有的

无意间听到的最真实的美丽 (转载)

那天我在阅览室,随意翻看着杂志。
一个人径直走了进来,被管理员叫住:
“登记名字和卡号!”
那人停住,有点不知所措:
“我没有卡号。”
“是这学校的吗?”管理员没有抬头,只是继续着手上的活。
“不是。”
“哪儿的?”
“工地。”
管理员顿了一下,抬起头,看着这个陌生来客,问道:
“哪儿的工地?”
“就是……学校操场后面的那个。”低沉的声音有些不自信。

沉默的三秒钟……
我没有回头看,但神经已经与空气中的不安,慌乱,期待,疑虑骤然交错,凝结。
等待中
听到管理员缓缓的,却是很肯定的说:
“进去看吧。”

对话结束了。自然,清澈。

临走时,我注意到,
阅览室几乎已经坐满了人,其中一个人
穿着灰色工作服,
泛白,平展。

倘若他们让您有了一种别样的心情,
请帮忙顶一下,让更过的人能感受到那样的心情。
我希望让更多生活在这愈加匆忙残酷、不公平的社会中,
徘徊在这充满了愤怒怨气无奈的网
络空间中的人们,能够温暖一下有些麻木冰冷的神经,
哪怕只是瞬间……

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Today is a sad day

到今天,我正式上班几乎整整3年了,但我非常悲伤,因为,我的reporting manager,也就是我常常说的小老板辞职了。他被我们的一个竞争对手挖角挖走了。

他是个从小来美国的韩国人(今年也就32岁吧),他的太太还是个ABC。由于文化背景相近的缘故,他一向对我都很照顾,尽管我们平时都互相开一些很过分的玩笑。每次我工作上,生活上有疑问的时候,他就像个大哥哥一样帮助我。好几次我做的东西都出了差错,当我面红耳赤,手足无措的时候,他总是哈哈一笑的替我解脱。

他相当聪明,是我见过最聪明的几个人之一。在业务上,他就是我们组的大脑,不论什么他都知道,interest rate derivative也好,structured credit也好,CDO也好,他样样都精通。就连最复杂的accounting,他也是专家中的专家,FAS 133, FAS 140这些怪物都被他一一降伏。他数学很厉害,UCLA的数学本科毕业,每次算些东西,他霹雳啪啦就把答案说出来了,我们都怀疑他的额头里是不是install了excel。

他是个好人,基督教徒。不管我平时怎么讽刺他(我最烦宗教了),他都不生气。今年湖人给底特律打得找不到北的时候,他非常苦恼(他是我见过的最铁杆的湖人fan了)。我就老挖苦他说,“你怎么还不祈祷啊,你的神怎么还不来救你啊”他每次都微笑着说:“God is designed for this purpose.”

他是我在公司里最好的朋友,他的离去让我真的很难受。以后的日子里,再不会有以前的那种欢笑了。我不是一个很PC的人,但他非常可以容忍,甚至放纵我的言语,我们两个人的互相抬杠是乐趣无穷的。在他手下的这三年,我真得很感谢他,(尽管我当面从来没有说过谢谢)。我祝他在新的公司里一帆风顺,万事如意!!!!(不行,不能万事如意,他是我们的竞争对手了,生意上不能让他如意,哈哈)

转载一首精彩绝伦的小诗

总有一天要轮到你 (转载)
        
    有一天,
    工人下岗了。
    你高兴,
    改革么就得有人付出。
    
    有一天,
    农民破产了。
    你不屑,
    天下最笨的就是他们。
    
    有一天,
    城管没收了小商贩的三轮车。
    你开心,
    前一天他的三轮车险些刮伤我的别克。
    
    有一天,
    交不起学费的孩子失了学。
    你不解,
    我的孩子上学都是在外国。
    
    有一天,
    股民被套。
    你窃喜,
    我就是那圈钱的。
    
    有一天,
    哥们在红灯区被淋病。
    你嘲笑,
    我的二奶是专用的。
    
    有一天,
    警察在和黑帮巷战时倒地。
    你狂喜,
    他们是狗。
    
    有一天,
    有人因无钱而病逝。
    你不怕,
    我是买了保险的。
    
    有一天,
    车轮碾过行人的尸体。
    你理直,
    轧了白轧是合理的。
    
    有一天,
    我告诉你。
    狗东西,
    总有一天要轮到你

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

The Movie - [华氏9/11]

昨天晚上和我哥们看了[华氏9/11],看完之后感触良多。
这片名是从著名的[华氏451](我以前日记里提到过)里延伸而来,但电影和那本名著的中心思想是一致的,那就是反对政府的个人集权和言论封锁。

整部电影围绕9/11事件来表现当前布什政府的无能和贪婪。电影大致上是按照时间顺序把相关事件加以展开,从9/11,到阿富汗,最后是伊拉克。片子里揭露的一些东西我的确以前不知道,这次也算是学到点东西吧。

有些人会批评导演是biased,但谁不是biased???? 任何东西只要有人的大脑和意识在参与和作用,它必定是biased。就像你批评一个人,说他不是perfect的一样,这种批评是没有多大意义的。

电影里我哭了好几次,很不好意思。第一次就是9/11的一些片断,把我的记忆又勾起来了,回想我当时感受和处境,我就忍不住了。第二次是那个伊拉克母亲在歇斯底里的诅咒美国的时候。看到一个母亲这样绝望,这样无助,这样的悲愤。。。尤其是她提到她们家已经发生了五次葬礼的时候。唉。。。第三次是美国士兵的母亲读她儿子信的时候。真是难受得不得了。。。

战争是残酷的,是真正对人性的摧残。有一部电影叫[The Casualty of War], 是Michael J Fox演的关于越战的片子,里面就把这种摧残表演的淋漓尽致。那部电影的名字就是要告诉大家,战争里的损失的不仅仅是阵亡的将士,实际上所有的参与者,包括那些幸存者,都是the casualty of war。[华氏9/11]里一个士兵的发言很好的表达了这个意思:“I feel like a part of my soul was lost with every kill”

美国是个great country,我真的很喜欢。但布什这个阿史侯象个大猩猩一样四处破坏。他正在摧毁美国最宝贵的财富:民主和自由。像他这样的一个草包公子,如果连任了,我很可能会气的失去理智,到处撞墙。

他一定不能连任,一定不能!!!!!!!

Friday, June 25, 2004

The Power of Logic

终于看完了Assimov的Robot系列啦,好开心啊,好开心啊,嗷嗷嗷~~~~~

真是好看啊,真是回味无穷,他的小说最大的魅力就是逻辑的力量。故事委婉曲折,但一根看不见的逻辑纽带把一切都滴水不漏的联系起来。这就是我初中数学老师反复唠叨的“逻辑的美丽”吧。(每次谈到数学的魅力,老师就喜欢说什么逻辑是世上最美的东西。看老师说着要流口水的样子,我总怀疑他是不是暗恋过一个姓罗名季的女孩。)

我很喜欢古龙,也是因为他小说中的逻辑和推理,但和Assimov比起来,他就真是小巫见大巫了(我怀疑他的笔风就是模仿Assimov而来的,呵呵,怀疑而以,古龙的扇子别过来拍砖砍人啊),而且古龙很懒,结尾的地方很多都是粗制滥造,Assimov可是兢兢业业,越到结尾越是紧张刺激.

到底是Robot系列好看呢,还是Foundation三部曲好看?这是个很难回答的问题。我都喜欢!!!!Robot逻辑更强些,Foundation看起来更惊心动魄点,我是左揽右抱,统统喜欢!!!

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

My brief encounter with an Indian baby

On my plane back from CA, there was that baby....
He is a tiny Indian boy, sits one row in front of me and 4 seats away to my right. I was happy about the situation, since I thought I was at a safe distance away from the baby. But later on I just realized how wrong I was.

The baby was a monster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He was crying, screaming, kicking, spitting, and cursing the whole trip!!!! (close to 6 hours) (Well, not exactly cursing since he can’t even talk, but for me, worse than cursing)
I almost snapped; I almost got up and talked to the mother calmly: “sorry, I have to kill this baby now.” There are moments at which I wished I just drop dead right now right there. I even had vision of alien abduction. Taking away by aliens was definately a better alternative for me. I finally understand why some nannies or parents chocked their babies. I know it ain't right but you gotta do what you gotta do. I have to admit that if the baby was actually with in my reach, I really don’t know what would happen (I guess some of you guys may end up seeing me on some breaking news yesterday evening).

I actually found a way to squeeze some amusementsout of this horrendous situation. I tried to be a judge to rate each scream, base on how high the pitch is, how long the scream lasts, and how loud it sounds (somewhat like Simon in the American Idol). The highest score I gave out yesterday was 9.6. You know, I am as picky as Simon and I don’t give perfect scores.

I always believe that the baby’s crying is self-defense mechanism. The sound is designed to be so annoying and discouraging that even the fiercest animals can’t approach the baby within 100 yard radius. If I were the animal yesterday, I would have ate my own brain out than got any closer to that baby.

I fucking hate babies on the plane!!!!!!!!!

Monday, June 14, 2004

One of the toughest questions I've ever seen

记得曾经看到过这么一个问题,非常难,非常难

If you have to choose one thing, which one will you choose
(1) Permanent Body-odor
(2) Permanent Bad Breath

嗯。。。。。为此,我不知道死掉了多少脑细胞
Tough... very tough........

Friday, June 11, 2004

I am a Piston Fan Now

Watched second half of the game last night, Pistons against Lakers
All I can say is "What a great game!!! It's fucking awesome!!!"
This is what I call basketball, and any professional sports in general

It's about desire, motivation, and heart
It's about how badly you want to win
It's about putting everything you have on the floor and fight for every second
It's about the physical play and energy surge
It's about I want to win no matter what you do

It's NOT about the fancy clothes that you are wearing
It's NOT about the fake smile on the face
It's NOT about the fucking bullshit "winning is not everything"
It's NOT about who has more championship rings on their fingers
It's NOT about the popularity contest
It's NOT about tomorrow.. tonight is what counts!!

Detroit destroyed Lakers. Lakers are old, slow, and over-matched. The cocky SOB Kobe looked like a total joke after some half-brained sports analysts hyped him to Michael Jordon's level. Karl Malone's dirty elbow could no longer intimidate anyone. Shaq was still strong, but again, last night just shows the fact that he was just another human being. Gary Payton was a lost soul.... I even felt sad for him. Lakers looked tired and played tired. They seemed to be content with the three rings in their pocket.

Detroit was a whole different story. I was so touched by the energy level displayed by Pistons. They are so hungry. They want to win so badly and they let you know by fight every possession. The offensive board was dominated by Pistons, and it wasn't even close. Pistons play like a team, they move the ball very well and they always find someone open at the corner. They are both speedy and strong, I gotta say "I love Detroit!!!!"

Lakers, I am sorry (don't really meant it though hoho). This year is just not yours.

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

常香玉

对了,有件事一直忘了写下来,就是纪念豫剧大师常香玉。

她在六月一号去世的,大约在一两个月前看“艺术人生”的时候看到过她,那时候还非常精神呢。真想不到,一下子就逝世了。唉,人生真是变化无常啊。通过艺术人生那一集,对她有了更多的感性认识。我很佩服这些有明确目标,并且将至付诸实施的人,她对豫剧的热爱和对祖国的热爱都是无以伦比的。当初她能捐出一架战斗机,这也真是太夸张了,我承认我做不到,打死我也做不到。(嗯。。也不一定,真要打死我的话,也许我狗急跳墙的会去不择手段一把,没准还真能搞一架回来) 真可惜这么一个慈祥的老奶奶就这去去世了。

我迷失了方向

考试考完了,我象在大海里突然失去风帆的船,一下子没了方向。
但是。。。。。。。。我就他妈喜欢这种没有方向的迷茫!!!!

终于又可以开始跑跑步了(礼拜天跑了半小时,现在腿还酸着呢)
终于又可以开始看小说了(爽啊,可以看机器人系列的最后一本啦!)
终于可以看传说中的South Park了(从哥们那里借到的,开心啊~~)
终于又可以玩点游戏了(玩星级争霸的时候,我老是说:“尽管我很菜,但是我和温柔”)
终于又可以飞去看女朋友啦(下个礼拜五的票已经买好了,哈哈)
我灰常开心!!!(我以前的福建roommate很喜欢这样说,呵呵)

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

六一儿童节,心中永远的痛

今天是六一儿童节,小时候的惨痛记忆不由浮上眼前。

每次儿童节的时候,老师总发给独生子女们五块钱的过节费,据说是因为他们符合国家政策,是好孩子(那时候独生子女还是不多的)。可惜我有一个哥哥,所以这五块钱是从来没有拿到过。那时候五块钱可以买好多好东西了,学校门口的卖小块糖的铺子,5分钱一块糖,好吃的很。好羡慕啊,每次别人排队领钱,我总尝试混进去,但每次都被发现,很不爽。不爽之余就生怨恨,恨我哥啊,总盼着我父母把我哥送人什么的,把这个念头尝试着和父母沟通了一下,结果他们反而扬言要把我处理掉,就吓得不再多言。

所以以后每年的六一,就只能眼巴巴的看着那些独生子女们开心鼓舞的样子,第一次感觉到二等公民的味道。

Thursday, May 27, 2004

传说中的猪精

为什么每次半夜里下雨我都不知道????为什么每次早上上班看见一地的水的时候,我总会吓一跳:“昨天晚上下雨了?!” 为什么每次我都睡得这么死,打雷下雨都不醒?? 难道我真象我女朋友做描述的那样,是一种传说中的神物:人型的猪???

每次办公室里的人聊起天,说到晚上下雨,他们都说什么昨天晚上睡不好啊,要关窗啊,很吵啊什么的。我呢,每次都是一句:“昨天晚上有下雨?”所以他们现在总怀疑我到底是不是住在纽约的。

记得最夸张的一次是在上大学的时候,那时候我们两个人一间宿舍。有天半夜刮台风,风大雨急,我们宿舍的窗户都打得稀巴烂。我的roommate已经起来战斗了,他找了些东西来绑住窗架子,又有用身子顶住一块床板来阻挡向宿舍里飘的大雨。因为有南北两面的窗户,他一个人实在对付不了
他发出凄惨的悲嚎:“GTR你怎么还在睡觉啊,起来帮忙啊!”

的确,那时候我还在睡觉,而且还很香。我感觉很舒服,一点都没有平时的闷热。不过我最终醒了,不过不是roommate叫醒的(打雷我都不怕,还怕他那小嗓子??)。我醒了是发现我半边床已经给飘进来的雨全部打湿了,我的蚊帐还给刮得塌了半边。我醒来第一句话就是:“我操,出妖精了??!!”(看西游记看多了,一变天,我就觉得是要出妖精了)
为此,我roommate也深信我是一只妖精:猪精

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

武侠小说创作

从小到大总有写本武侠小说的欲望,有好几次都是笔和纸都准备好了,但由于某些突发事件一打岔(比如口渴,喝了口水,或者是憋极了,撒泡尿这些事),回过头来就忘了该干嘛了。

我可以记得的最接近成功的一次是我小学四年纪吧(对不起,我早熟,小学三年级的时候就把金庸古龙的那几本都看了)。那是一个炎热的夏天,我和我哥打算合伙写本武打小说来赚钱(当时我们都特想有很多很多钱,去把市面上的小纸牌都买回来,什么西游记的,水浒的,隋唐的,啊!!!统统要,统统要!)书名当时还没想好,但我们很有步骤地先设计人物和故事主线

故事我们决定走大众化的路线....
男主角首先要英俊,然后父母一定要双亡
他一定要在18岁的时候出来找杀父母的仇人
这时候他会遇到一个女孩,很漂亮,很高傲,骑着大红马的那种,她象个童养媳一样,是谁都看不上,偏偏就喜欢男主角
男主角呢,不知怎么的一定会掉到悬崖底下,悬崖下面不是枯草就是水,反正他死不了,不仅如此,他还找到武功秘籍。对,神秘的老头,悬崖下面一定要有个神秘老头
两年之后他又要出来找坏人决斗,这时候他多做好事,像雷锋一样出名,肯定不知怎么的还当了个武林盟主。
坏人马上都吓得不得了,聚集在一起准备对付他
这时一定还要有个美女坏人,她毅然决定要牺牲自己来帮助帅哥。
帅哥很感动,最后杀光了坏人,和另一个美女happily ever after了

辅助人物我们觉得一定要有个醉丐,好人,越醉越厉害的那种高手 。还要有个不起眼的,开个小餐馆的隐藏了30年的打死不出手的那种绝代高人。还要把这些高手的名字,外号什么的凑一个对联,或者暗号,琅琅上口的那种。

哎,可惜啊,这么好的构思当初硬是没有付诸实现,不然我现在肯定很爽,天天吃茶叶蛋,喝汽水。(天天吃茶叶蛋,喝汽水是我当时可以想象到的最最奢华的生活了)

Monday, May 24, 2004

More Great Lines

继续写写让我难忘的电影对白吧,这次再加上几句歌词好了

"There is some good in this world, and it's worth fighting for." Sam, Lord of the Ring - Two Towers

"There is some truth in the fiction, and some fiction in the truth." Neo, Animatrix

"Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane" Red, The Shawshank Redemption

“我总有一种想为你去而死的冲动,因为我不知如何才能把你打动” 郑钧, (奶奶的,歌名怎么想都想不起来了)

"Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted - One moment. Would you capture it or just let it slip?" Eminem, Lose Yourself

Friday, May 21, 2004

Some Great Movie Lines

Sometimes after watching a movie, I can remember nothing but one or two great lines said by certain character. It’s those words that strike me the most and leave me mouthful of taste. Here are some of the lines that I will always remember.

"What do men want? They want more!" Achilles, Troy

"Has anything you’ve done made your life better?" Bob, American History X

"I am tired of being pissed off." Derek, American History X

"Life was like a box of chocolates, never know what you are gonna get" Forrest, Forrest Gump

"What is real? How do you define real?" Morpheus, The Matrix

"Are you OK?" "Nah man, I am pretty fucking far from OK!" Marsellus, Pulp Fiction

"They can’t win this fight. They are all going to die" "Then I shall die as one of them!" Aragorn, Lord of the Ring ? Two Towers

"You are not special; you are not a beautiful or unique snowflake; you are the same decaying organic matter as everything else." Tyler Durden, Fight Club

"The things you own, end up owning you." Tyler Durden, Fight Club

Thursday, May 20, 2004

纽约街头偶见

中午出去买饭的时候,看到一下一幕:

一个身材健硕的黑人青年,骑着运动型的自行车呼啸而至。由于路上行人众多,他一边骑,一边大声吆喝:"be careful, watch out, bikes coming" 大家纷纷及时闪避。这时路中间有个着装入时的女白领,她一边低头打着电话,一边仍然置若罔闻的慢慢走,黑人青年不得不在她面前猛地急刹车一把,发出一阵阵刺耳的“吱吱”声。当他从那个女的身边经过之后,他回过头来了一句:"move, you fucking bitch!" 然后,这个身材窈窕的时代女性头也不抬,一只手照旧打着电话,然后伸出另一只手,高高的竖起中指。晴朗的蓝天下,她那美丽的手指显得分外妖娆。周围的一些头发花白的白人老头老太都看得目瞪口呆。 我微微一笑,心中对着这些明显的外地游客默默的说了一句:"Welcome to New York"

God, I love New York!!!

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

New Formula with 133% less Carb!!

我同事今天在吃一种Nutrition Bar的时候,我扫了一眼他的包装,上面有这么一句广告:“New Formula with 133% less Carb!!!”

嗯............................... Interesting............................... Just how the hell can you have 133% less ??!!!!!!!

原则上讲,任何东西最多就是100% less。 You can never have more than 100% less of something. 如果这个“133% less”是真的话, 就是说这东西含有负数的碳水化合物。 It’s basically sucking away the carb in your body. I guess the more you eat, the closer you are to become a mummy. 我把这事和同事一说,他也哈哈大笑。他也承认他当时也觉得这"133% less” sounds kinda funny, but didn’t know why,而且因为这个133%的广告听起来非常强悍,他才买的。好一个虚假广告的受害者啊。

所以我一直相信这一条金科玉律: If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is too good to be true.

Monday, May 17, 2004

人比人,气死人

昨天和女朋友打电话,她说她郁闷。原来她刚去了一个大型的华人聚会,里面精英云集,到来的Guest Speaker都是年轻有为,在各自的领域里光芒四射,她就觉得有点under-achieving了。

我就劝她别郁闷,关键就是人不能和人比。人要比,就和猫啊,狗啊什么的比,那么自己又聪明,又高大,比着比着能笑出来的那种,但人要是和人比,那绝对得气死。这些精英也都算牛人了吧,但他们要是和Bill Gates, Michael Dell什么的比,也难逃气死的厄运。你气我,我气你,气来气去何时了?我的理论就是:满足现状是一切快乐的源泉。我妈老说我骄傲自满,我倒总觉得她在夸我。

Saturday, May 15, 2004

The Movie: Troy

昨天晚上看了新出炉的Troy
很好看啊,尽管很多地方与史实不符
但里面人性中的方方面面都表现的淋漓尽致
贪婪,残暴,勇敢,荣誉,爱情,欲望,懦弱,亲情,仇恨,真是要嘛有嘛
美中不足就是开大仗的场面总有点意尤未尽
我希望他们打的再火暴一点,哈哈

从电影中也是学习了不少道理
(1)别人的老婆,是碰不得的
小的掉手指,当太监,大的杀你一家,最夸张的就干脆屠你全城,很恐怖啊

(2)别动不动就和别人玩什么一对一
没有两把刷子,就别牛逼,否则会死的很难看的啊

(3)一定要有个很猛的哥们
Paris有Hector,Greece有Achilles,我有谁?嗯,要好好想想

(4)玩火者,终被焚
勇猛如Achilles者,也难逃这个宿命

(5)看电影的时候,少喝水
我一共上了4次洗手间,破了个人生涯最好纪录
不仅我烦死了,旁边的哥们也烦死了

Sunday, May 09, 2004

Fake Americans

Another thing that really pissed me off is how fake Americans really are. They think torturing 30 to 50 prisons are horrible, but killing thousands of other Iraqis is OK? The torturing is horrible simple because Americans saw it. That's gross and disgusting, I full-heartedly agree. But what about killing???

If they see how the blood will splash when a bullet forcefully enters a human's chest; If they see how far a kid's arm can travel when a US bomb dropped in a residential area and hit the kid's home; If they see how a human being would look like with only half of his/her skull left; Would they still glorify the war against Iraq the way the mass media is doing now? The real battlefield is uglier than anything you would imagine. And that's something I considered "really gross and disgusting".

So stop faking it, God damn it! The fact is Americans don't give it a shit about anyone else except themselves, let alone those poor captured Iraqi soldiers.

About the Infamous Torture Pictures in the War against Iraq

When the pictures of American Solders torturing Iraqi prisoners hit the mass media several days ago, the whole so called "Human-rights" nation was shocked upside down. Bush was more wordless than ever, and could have definitely forced out couple drops of tears if he was a better actor. Rumsfield seems to be older than ever under the spot light. Instead of being a witty, charming Secretary of Defense, he is a now a caught-on-tape type of fucked-up pervert. All the republicans / pro-war activists just felt a slap on their face. Previously well-thought 1,000 reasons to invade Iraq just vanished like a beautiful dream in the summer's eve.

Then, after I saw the pictures myself, I am furious... The anger is burning and my eyes are red... That the fuck is that ??!!

No, no, no... don't get my wrong. I am not angry at the way Americans torturing Iraqis... Trust me, I've seen worse. Personally I think that's part of the deal of being captured. You don't really believe they will leave you alone as long as you surrender your weapons, do you??

But rather I am anger at the Americans, the weak stupid ass Americans. I argued with my boss about the war from the very begining. I said the war is not for the best interest of United States. I am not saying Sadam is a nice person that I like to hang out with. (Hell no, I definitely don't want to have him as my neighbour.) I am also not arguing Iraq has no WMD... Personally I really don't think WMD is factor here (If Iraq has WMD, US troops will be in big trouble, so don't go there; if Iraq has no WMD, no need to go there either) But my reasoning is:
(1) Fighting against Iraq will get very dirty
(2) US can't afford to be dirty
(3) Well, if you don't want to get dirty, don't fight in the mud... Get the hell out of Iraq then

Here is the detail:
(1) The war against Iraq is not about army against army here. It's about you-invade-my-house-I-do-whatever-I-can-to-get-you-out type of conflict. Yes, Americans have bigger guns and more advanced shit in their arsenal, but so what?? We are talking about religious freaks doing suicide-bombers here. The enemy is everywhere and nowhere. They are civilian now and smiles at you; Seconds later, they are the enemy and try to send you to see your Jesus. They are invisible, and they are willing to fight with their teeth.

(2) Of course if Americans really want, they can still win the war with ease. Just drop couple nukes or kill everything on sight will solve the problem, but here comes the second point, Americans can't fight dirty.
You gotta love Americans, because they are too nice and too politically correct to their own fault. They just have too many baggages on their backs. Namely, the human-rights, Christianity, moral righteousness and other stuff that sounds wonderful but costly to execute. They just can't fight dirty!!!!! Just look at these so-called "torture" pictures again...... They are laughable compared to what the Japanese did to us in WWII but the weak-hearted Americans all freaked out and just can't take it any more. That's why I always believe that US can never be prepared for a war like this. They may be physically well-equipped and have more than enough fire power to accomplish any military task, but mentally they are not there yet, and perhaps never will.

(3) So, I will say "GET THE FUCK OUT OF IRAQ NOW!!!"

These are the reasons why I am angry.... The stupid President Bush should have never sent troops over, and should have never wasted my hard-earned tax money in such pointless way. Now he is asking $25bn more and fuck that, I am angry!!!

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

股票市场里的阿Q

股票怎么又跌了,跌的我头皮都发绿了
“哀莫过于心死”这句话用在股票上就最贴切了
看一个人什么时候股票跌惨了,就看他还谈不谈股票了
如果一个买股票的人都不侃股票了,都对股市不闻不问了
那也就是跌的最惨无人道的时候了
可惜我现在就距离心死不远了

股票的好处就是它具有类似债券的positive convexity
就是说同样每天跌2%,但你跌的钱是越来越少
我每天就安慰自己说:“不怕不怕,绝对值来说,今天跌的比昨天的少,today is a better day....”
没错,我其实就是个阿Q,您果然目光如炬。。。。

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

科技进步给我们带来更多快乐么?

我头疼,就好像有根针时不时在钻一样,忽闪忽闪的头疼。休完假来上班就是不容易。俗话说得好,“从简入奢易,由奢入简难” ,懒惰了一个礼拜之后,骨头都变味了,现在就是一打开spreadsheet就头晕的架势。

我现在常常思索一个困扰了我很久的问题,那就是“所谓的科技进步到底给我们带来了什么?” 就我个人而言,我总希望能够科技发展到一天,大家都不用上班了,天天在家里呼呼睡觉,和大口吃肉。但我越来越觉得科技越进步,人类反而更辛苦。现在上班的时间和强度可是与日俱增,email, spreadsheet, computer等等的发明,并没有让我们这些小职员的日子好过起来,我们反而更加stressful了,时间反而更不够用了。

Are we happier now than the people 100 years ago? 这是个很难回答的问题。的确,对于现在的我来说,要回到100年前生活,我打死也不肯。因为我觉得没有抽水马桶和空调是不可以想象的。但问题是当我们不知道存在抽水马桶和空调的时候,还会觉得没有他们是很糟糕的事情么? 比如说,100年后的人肯定会说同样的话:“我打死也不愿意生活在2004年里,他们连离子马桶和恒温器都没有,那是人过的日子么?” 但其实2004年里的我们,自我感觉还是挺良好的。所以说,我的结论就是:快乐与感觉上的舒适程度是和绝对的科技进步无关的。人类这么辛苦奋斗,追求科技突破,来追寻的绝对物质享受是本末倒置的。由于人类的天生弊病,(我们的永不满足感),我们永远会为这个海市蜃楼奔波丧命。在asimov的机器人系列里也描述了人类文明极度繁荣的情景,可惜正如我所提的,书里的人类也不是那么快乐。人啊,实在是种很操蛋的生物。。。。。

嗯,我要努力快乐,哈哈,从上班偷懒开始!!!

Monday, April 26, 2004

纽约的天气

NY's weather is a bitch
She just can't stay nice for 3 days in a row and has to piss you off now and then

每当我开心的说“春天终于来了,阳光明媚啊”的时候
好像老天爷就听见了
他就不喜欢让人高兴:“孙子,不能让你这么美”
第二天就不是降温就是下雨,还有下雪的
今年春天每次都这样。。真他妈烦人

Sunday, April 25, 2004

Shopping = 血拼??

逛街真累啊,怪不得shopping叫血拼呢
那都是玩命的事
女的和男的真不一样
女的吧,打球干活不行,没几下就累了
可是一逛街,那可是日行千里不在话下
越是大的商场,那劲头就越足
东西拎的越多,脚下走的就是越欢
男的可不一样,(至少我是这样)
打球干活咱们不喊累
但逛街买东西可真不行
没几下就累的象狗一样喘气
一到商场就找一旮旯角落,往椅子上一坐的那种
女的吧,还有走回头路的一说
挑来挑去居然又挑回到前一家去了
这不是毛病是什么?当初叫你买咋不买呢???
得了,不写了不写了,等一下又要去逛街了

Thursday, April 22, 2004

The Boy from Oz

百老汇这东西上瘾,不好,跟毒品似的
昨天晚上不知道怎么的,说着说着就去看了The Boy from Oz
讲述的是澳大利亚人Peter Allen的传奇一生
Huge Jackman出演Peter Allen
以前看XMEN的时候就特别喜欢他演的狼人
现在近距离看到偶像,很兴奋啊
他能唱,能跳,个子高大,真是一个能歌善舞的大帅哥
他还老是拿下面的观众开玩笑,有几次差点笑坏肚子
整个The Boy from Oz的演出远远超出我的预期,好看的不得了

Chicago和The Boy from Oz我都非常喜欢,但它们风味不一样
Chicago就好比是四川菜,好吃,上口,过瘾,但有些地方比较粗糙,比如说餐厅的装潢,餐具的选用都可以更好
The Boy from Oz就好比法国菜,或者日本菜,不仅美味,还很细致,方方面面都很得体
它的舞台布置非常好,灯光音效都是一流,服装也是华丽非凡
我觉得这和故事情节大概也有关
Chicago涉及的是20年代,而且大部分场景是在监狱里发生
监狱嘛,也就不好怎么灯红酒绿的
The Boy from Oz是讲述Peter Allen在百老汇的奋斗史
场景大多涉及剧院和纽约的高尚公寓,自然也就豪华很多
所以两个我都喜欢,哈哈,不分彼此

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

It's Chicago!!!!

Chicago is AWESOME!!!
Definitely the best Broadway show I've ever seen.

就象它宣传简介里说的那样,Chicago包含了一切生活中的毒瘤:
谋杀,谎言,欺骗,贪婪,虚伪,背叛,不贞
昨天晚上看的时候,手掌都要拍烂了
Chicago主要以跳舞和唱歌著称
舞台就没什么希奇的,变化不大
但那舞蹈跳的实在好啊,唱的也是让人兴奋异常
故事情节非常幽默,对现实的讽刺也是一针见血
绝对的不可错过啊
我原本不是什么百老汇的番士
总觉得花这么多钱看一堆人咿呀乱叫个两个小时很是不值
但Chicago彻底改变了我的想法
唱腔通俗易懂,故事情节紧凑风趣
不知不觉就看到了终场,完全不拖拉
爽啊~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
我女朋友看过电影Chicago,但也觉得是现场看的精彩许多

现在开始,我就是百老汇的番士了,就这样吧。

Saturday, April 17, 2004

Who is the most crazy people that you know?

After careful deliberation, I finally came up my list of the most crazy people in US.
These names are in no particular order.
Also if you don't see your name on the list, please don't be offended.

1. William Huang
This guy just fits the perfect definition of craziness: the inability to comprehend reality.
When he was singing "she bangs.. she bangs" with his tiny ass shaking, I felt sad.
He should be institutionized, and be analyzed by doctors.
Not one, not two, but a team of doctors

2. Omarosa
The infamous apprentice, the evil sister, and the ultimate back-stabber
She is both crazy and evil, to a degree that no one can match
She just keeps doing the things that any normal people would not do
What a classic crazy bitch....

3. Michael Jackson
How sad that he is on my list, I used to love him and admire him to my knees
But I guess they don't call him "Waco Jaco" for nothing
If he still think that he is the ultimate Peter Pan at the age of 40+, he is plain crazy
His fake nose and fake skin color are just some nice additional evidences

4. Master Li
You have to tip your hat to someone seriously regard himself as God
To claim that you have the special channel to communicate with God is one heck of crazy shit, claiming yourself directly as God is just craziness with no boundaries
However, his method of "sitting there doing nothing" apparently gained some popularity among other crazy people,
I would definitely give Master Li some credit
He is the King, the King of Pychos

5. President Bush
He believes Iraq has WMD
He believes by bombing and occupying Iraq, US is a safer place
He believes Iraq will be the next Japan
He believes he is doing a good job this past 4 years and would be re-elected soon
He believes he is a competent and well-admired president
(The list can actually go on and on forever)
Well, enough said, he is crazy

Friday, April 16, 2004

美好时光,触手可及

好啊,下礼拜要休一礼拜的假了
幸福的日子就在眼前啦!!!!
都四个月没休假了,可真是不容易啊
不过想回来,时间过的是真快
一转眼,2004都过了三分之一了
我的New Year Resolution还有很多有待实施
这下半年,压力重大啊
美中不足的是休假期间还不得不看书准备考试
(残酷的现实是,如果我再不认真对待的话,我肯定就不通过了)
哎呀,这个杀千刀的考试真是折腾死我了

Thursday, April 15, 2004

Ray Bradbury and [Fahrenheit 451]

终于看完了[Fahrenheit 451]这本书,这本书可让我回味了很久,不愧为经典啊。

看到其半段的时候,不是很喜欢,觉得故事很拖沓,而且用词太fency,有种用抒情小说的文笔来写科幻的感觉。但越到后面越有意思,高潮的时候还是挺紧张的。后来又看到编后语,发现作者Ray Bradbury真的是一个非常非常非常爱书的人。他不仅爱读书,还爱写书,他更爱的是书所包含的精神。书带给人的自由意志和思维乐趣是其他任何东西都不可替代的。这本他的经典大作是很具有讽刺意义的,一个这么爱书的人写的却是一个关于烧书的故事(有点像秦始皇那时候的焚书坑儒)。尽管他写这本书是在50年前,但他书中描述的种种却与现在的世界不谋而合。Ray Bradbury,很牛啊!!

一个让我很厌恶的字

发现网上很多人喜欢用“偶”这个字
我实在不知道这种说法的起源是什么
至于它为什么这么盛行就更是摸不着头脑
但我就是恶心这个字,太变态,太变态了。。。。
(怒目圆睁状...)

我估计女的喜欢用“偶”是要装嫩,扮可爱
这我可以体谅,毕竟装嫩是对付很多男光光的必要手段
而且有些大龄女性也着实希望表达“我内心还纯真如昔”的信息
但一些男的老爷们儿也用这个字,那就过了
您图什么呀?
就图个装成小孩一样,天真无邪,动不动往女孩怀里扑?
就图个让别人夸你一句,你真cute?
还是图着掩藏自己年纪一把但还在网上一事无成的瞎逛的事实?
这些都不说了
更有甚者是结婚都结了,孩子也有俩了,还动不动上去来个“偶”“偶”“偶”的
让我不由想起那些洞穴里嗷嗷待哺的小狼

Monday, April 12, 2004

三件怪事

昨天有三件事情都让我感到匪夷所思
真是不是我不明白,是这个世界变化太快

第一就是得知崔健被拒签了
崔健还拒签???也太搞了吧
我妈一边还语重心长的说:“你看,父母不让你回国时有道理的啊,崔健都拒签了,别说你了”
这样发展下去,我估计以后某年某月的某一天,
网上新闻说到:“我国国家主席应美国总统之邀进行的国事访问,由于主席未能及时获得美国签证,被迫取消”

第二是我哥们给我打电话,告诉我一件事,我听后也是瞠目结舌
他有个毕业两年多的师兄,这两年以来从不主动和他联系
每次我哥们要找他,都是笑脸迎冷脸,丫环见小姐的感觉
结果这个师兄知道我哥们刚刚拿到一个$90K的offer
就马上打电话过来,居然是叫我哥们能不能帮他付房子按揭
(这个师兄刚刚买了一个超过他经济能力的房子)
我的天,这样的人都有!!!有勇气问出这样问题的人真是我的呕象啊

第三是我妈的一个朋友的故事
这个朋友是新移民,刚刚过来不久,老实的很
结果这个朋友的远房亲戚马上就过来问他们借社会安全号码,说什么用用而已
这个朋友也不大懂,就问我妈到底什么意思
我一听,大怒,哪有这么欺负人的??还有借用社会安全号的???
那下次还不来借老婆啊??
这是世界真是什么样的人都有,也什么样的事都有啊

Thursday, April 08, 2004

春姑娘来了!!!

春天终于来啦,牛逼啊!就象和Lord of the Ring里一样,冬天就是Mordor的坏人,春天就是Elf帅哥和Gondor的好人。历尽千辛万苦,好人终于把坏人打跑了,呵呵。

小时候的时候,一到春天,我写春游的作文总喜欢用什么“春姑娘的脚步”“晴空万里,万里无云”“天空中漂浮着几朵悠悠的白云”“树枝上长出了新芽”“小鸟快乐的欢唱”等等,老师的评语也经常是“到底有没有云??” 现在想想,觉得很是滑稽。

春天还是爽,风和日丽的,又到了运动的好时节,俺也要开始跑步啦。

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

我喜欢宗教,就这一天吧,哈哈

宗教是个好东西,某种意义上讲
比如说后天这个Good Friday吧,尽管我至今还不大明白到底这是怎么定义的(我只知道这个和基督教有关)
但这并不妨碍我快乐的享受这个Friday
(yeah!!! Friday off and Thursday early close, you can't beat that!)
所以在这点上,我是100%支持宗教的

我希望与其搞什么圣战啊,大家不妨多搞些类似Good Friday的东西
象什么Fantastic Thursday, Splendid Monday, Unforgettable Tuesday, and Great Wednesday是多多益善的
宗教的确有它闪光的地方啊

Monday, April 05, 2004

赌运差的时候,很有点无计可施的绝望

最近运气不好,和老板打赌,赌啥输啥
连续五场不胜,很是郁闷

但如果我真的是赌啥输啥的话,我reverse一下不就可以了么?
比如说我最初感觉火箭能赢(或者输),一般情况下,我就赌了,也就输了
所以,我应该反一下,赌火箭输(或者赢),岂不就赢了??
我上个礼拜就反了两盘,结果还是输了,奶奶的!!!

我发现我反这个最初感觉是没有用的,怎么反还是输,所以要反最终感觉,
也就是说,我要在作决定的最后一瞬间改变主意才行。
但问题是逻辑上讲你是不能反你的最终决定的。
如果你一reverse,then previous desision is no longer so called "final decision"。
By definition, final decision is irreversible!!!

Damn, I am doomed!!!

Thursday, April 01, 2004

生命是美丽的,请珍惜它

今天是张国荣的一年忌辰
祝他泉下安息吧

我真的认为
有什么不开心的地方不妨说出来
有什么自己解决不了的烦恼就让朋友家人一起来想办法
人生的道路上没有死胡同,除非你闭上眼睛拒绝去看
不管做什么,总有人说东道西的,没有必要介怀什么流言蜚语
自己不管怎么样都要爱自己,不能自暴自弃
退一步海阔天空,功名钱财不过是大大小小的各种符号
Nothing is worse than death
所以自杀是最不符合逻辑的行为了
请珍惜生命

Wednesday, March 31, 2004

我很崇敬我父母啊

昨天晚上和老妈聊天
老妈又给我上了堂她最拿手的忆苦思甜课
说到当年的苦难,我都差点眼泪汪汪
父母真不容易,这点我一直很佩服他们
以前穷,啥也没有
他们要自己做过家具,自己种过些菜,自己裁过衣服,连蜂窝煤都自己打过
(蜂窝煤我帮过忙,很好玩,踩煤的时候黑黑的小脚很是有趣)
就那点工资,既要带我和我哥这两个小猴子,
又要照顾他们的父母弟兄
要是我,肯定要疯掉
很佩服我的父母这一代的人啊
突然想到自己这么懒,动不动就要死要活的喊累,很是惭愧
奶奶个熊,从今天开始,俺要努力了!!!!!!!!

Monday, March 29, 2004

心理测验

前几天未婚妻问我一个心理测验
说如果我在台上表演,她应该(1)在台下看,(2)在幕后帮忙,(3)在台上合演
她一问完题目,我心就一凉

又是什么心理测验,俺最怕这个了
也不知道这些东西都是哪些孙子编的
稀奇古怪的什么都有
象什么吃东西你吃什么,甜筒,蛋糕,还是朱古力
是动物你是什么,猫啊,狗啊,还是大老虎
是颜色你是什么颜色,绿的,蓝的,还是大粉红
这些都是哪儿和哪儿啊
这不明显是折腾人麽
女的还就吃这一套,每次都当尚方宝剑一样来使唤
如果你说不到她喜欢的答案,她就哭:
“呜~~~~你不爱我”“你不合适我”“你不了解我”“你不疼我”等等等等
就算你说到点子上了,她就疑神疑鬼,半信半疑的说:“你不是骗我吧,真不真啊,你肯定看过答案吧,你撒谎,你骗人~~~~呜~~~”
我发现这种狗屁心里测验也就迎合两种人:
(1)情窦初开的初中小男生
(2)女人

我开始向所谓正确答案那里凑了,
我觉得在幕后不好,给人感觉是把女人当工具使唤
在台下也不好,好像是女方是花瓶
同台演出最好了吧,大家一起奋斗成功
结果我就说(3)

她一听,马上就“呜~~~你不爱我。。。。”
我一下就晕倒。。。。人算不如天算啊
昏迷中,她给我解释的理由也没有听明白
哎呀,心里测验害人啊

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

可怜的我居然对书过敏

人们都说来美国时间长了就会过敏
最常见的事花粉过敏,毛发过敏什么的
我也过敏
只不过对象有点不一样,我对书过敏

具体来说不是所有的书
小说我看得起劲,不过敏
但对正经的书过敏
象什么CFA教材啦,相关会计准则的书啦,都过敏的利害
只要一看这些书,就有以下症状:
头晕,眼乏,口干,胸闷,尿频,还精神恍惚
去年还好,死活看了几个月的书,考了个试
今年打算剩勇追穷寇,更上一层楼
但过敏的症状比去年明显多了
看着日子的一天天流逝
我愁,我愁,我愁愁愁。。。。

神哪,救救我吧。。。
(算了算了,不唱了,唱了也没用。。。)

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

仇恨的蠕虫

知道以色列把哈马斯的头头给炸死了的消息之后,我感到很悲哀。不是对以色列悲哀,也不是对哈马斯悲哀,更不是为死去的所谓精神领袖悲哀,我悲哀的是整个人类。

人,乃本是万物之长。我们本是现存的具备最高智慧的生物群体。我们本是不可战胜的。但我们就是斗不过一个叫仇恨的东西。仇恨就象一条黑色的小蠕虫一样在我们的内心角落里爬来爬去。它慢慢吞噬是我们的心灵,我们的大脑,和我们的肉体。现在任何我们所知道的药物,(包括教育,道德,法律,爱情)都对它无可奈何。它的生命力是如此之强大。每一天,它在新鲜的血液里(包括所谓的爱国者,热血青年,理想主义者,宗教狂热分子等)发扬壮大。它黑色的触须深深的插入我们皮肤的下层,侵蚀着我们的后代。它时时刻刻昂首挺胸的等待着下一次契机,希特勒般的契机。

每次在电视上看到群情激昂的人们,我就想到这条黑色的,蠕动的,粘稠的虫子。我不寒而栗。

Monday, March 22, 2004

实习生中的奇人轶事

今天早上可真是思想斗争了许久,很是想再来一次诈病
(去年装了两次,每次给老板打电话请假都是故意压低嗓子做极其痛苦状,一次假装拉肚子,一次假装发烧,我每次都装的活灵活现的,老板也深信不疑的认为我在死亡线上挣扎)
但仔细想想,我毕竟不是陈水扁
做秀太多肯定天理不容

哎,打工仔的命运岂是我一己之力可以挣脱的啊
今天同事们聊起我们公司的一些奇人轶事
我想起以前在这个公司做暑期工实习的时候,
一起实习的几个奇人和怪事

奇人甲:一个美国女孩,好像是家庭背景及其优越的主,
中国话讲,就是高干子弟吧
实习了一个礼拜就不见了
大家一打听,原来她辞职了
据说是她觉得工作太不人道了,太累了
那她到底加班加了多久啊?
哈哈,原来她第一个礼拜加了两天班,每次加到7点半
奶奶的,这也算加班????
高干子弟真是精贵啊,人和人真不一样

奇人乙:是个印度人,也是实习。但才过两个星期就给HR炒掉了
觉得很奇怪,一打听,原因更奇怪。理由居然是个人卫生。
这哥们好像属猫的,怕水。没别的毛病,就是不爱洗澡。
那可是夏天,一个礼拜下来周围的人就实在受不了了。
HR过来说了两句,以为问题解决了。
谁知道这老兄就是不洗,炒了也不洗的那种。
结果很简单,他给炒了。

奇人丙:实习了三个礼拜给人炒了,理由是他在厕所里偷偷睡觉,给老板发现了
我当时琢磨半天也不明白就算你假装上厕所,别人怎么知道你偷偷睡觉呢??
现在想想觉得那哥们肯定睡的得意忘型,打了呼噜
最恶心的地方是,那种环境怎么睡得了??
很是不可思议

Friday, March 19, 2004

神啊,救救我吧

气死我了,奶奶的,周末还要人加班
这个礼拜加了三天班,不让人活了??!!
官逼民反嘛
下礼拜已就假装请病假!!!!

我现在肚子饿,眼睛累,牙还疼,又不能回家看比赛
神啊,救救我吧,一把年纪啦,
上班还上这么久
加班是可耻的
不让回家的话
人生是黑白的。。。。

妈的,不废话了,继续干活

Thursday, March 18, 2004

爽的平方

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈,爽啊!!!!!!!
刚刚打完的四场比赛我都猜对了
现在是我们pool的领头羊
这感觉比爽还爽,应该是是爽的平方吧

今天Bloomberg上一个新闻说三月疯影响工作效率
我们公司居然被当典型给揪了出来
哈哈,他们说得真准啊
刚刚阿拉斑马和南伊利诺比赛的最后关头
我周围全部人都在网上看比分直播
欢呼声,叹气声,和咒骂声此起彼伏
最后斑马1分小胜,我和隔壁的哥们一起兴奋的仰天长啸

每次到了比赛的末段,一般是最后的一分钟左右
大家就开始扎成一堆,围在一起看网上的直播比分
我发现就是这样,就连看比分都是只有围在一起才好看
一个人看怎么都没有那种感觉
很奇怪,不知道为什么

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

March Madness

This is March Mad Mad Madness, baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The best time in town!!!! Do me a favor, find a pool and dump in 20 bucks, then sit back and watch your favorite team play on TV. By the way, don’t forget to grab a cold bear. That's the basketball I am talking about!!

Here is my Final 4 picks:

(1) Wisconsin (#6 Seed)
I have to pick Wisconsin, compelled by pure loyalty and affection. Everyone knows and says that defense wins the game. Let’s face it; defense is something that Wisconsin is never short of. This could just be another miracle year for Wisconsin. Just remember what happened in year 2000, they just shocked the world when they advanced to Final 4 as a #8 seed. Still not convinced?? Fine. To hell with you!! Yeah, call me crazy, call me emotional, call me stupid, call me sentimental, call me blind, call me pathetic, call me incompetent, call me gay, call me asshole, or call me whatever you want, I am picking Wisconsin to Final 4!!!!!!!!!

(2) Gonzaga (# 2 Seed)
Gonzaga always has the Cinderella story behind them. For the past 5 years, they were always a lowly ranked team, but people always believe they were tough to beat (which turned out to be so true every year) . This year is the year for this Cinderella to become a real Snow White!!! They were 27-2 in the regular season and are ranked #2 in tourney. They are powerful in the inside, and skillful at the outside, and they have one of the best big men in College right now. I believe they will handily beat the untalented #1 Seed Kentucky.

(3) Duke (#1 Seed)
The only #1 Seed in Final 4 as I see it. Since there is no God playing in the tournament, Blue Devil will rule. They are experienced, tough, and hungry. They haven’t advanced to Final 4 since 2001, and that’s absolutely unacceptable by their standard. Yes, I am perfectly aware of the fact that they just lost to Maryland in the ACC title game. I watched that game!! (I will talk more about Maryland late) Duke played tough but Maryland was just better that night. For Duke this time, the only team that can pose a threat is Missi State. However, I don’t think Missi State will even survive UNC. Duck will beat UNC in Elite 8

(4) Maryland (#4 Seed)
Oh, my… they are just like the clone of last year’s Syracuse. They are young, full of energy and bravery. They play their hearts out, and they have been weak all season long, not until just 3 weeks ago. They beat Wake Forest, NC State, and Duke to take the ACC crown. You think that’s easy??????!!!!!!!!!! Connecticut was over-rated, ever since the first day of the regular season, and they are still over-rated as of today. Maryland beats Connecticut in a close game

Well, I know perfectly well that you may think that I am full of shit and are probably drunk at this moment..... I kinda agree with you. When the tournament starts, no one knows what’s gonna happen. But I have hope…… the hope that I will win the pool and my team goes to Final 4. Oh, yeah, hope is the best thing ever occurred to human race. I love it every moment!!!

邂逅“吴孟达”

今天在公司电梯里居然看见一个人长的酷似吴孟达
那小胡子,那眼神。。。。真是搞啊。。。。
我当时差点就哈哈大笑起来
不过看着他很严肃的样子,就死忍着了

Monday, March 15, 2004

辛勤的小蜜蜂

今天我辛勤工作
象个采蜜的小蜜蜂一样飞来飞去
这也是过去一个月里的第一次加班
由于好久没有加班的缘故
我很是有点怀念
而且我一点也不像过去加班时那样烦躁
我只是默默地念叨着:
“我是一只勤劳的小蜜蜂,嗡嗡嗡,嗡嗡嗡。。。”
I am fucking weird........

痛并快乐着

第一次听到“痛并快乐着”这种说法,那还是因为齐秦的一张同名专辑
嗯。。。那也应该是很多年前的时光了
刚开始不大了解其中的含义
对于当时的我来说,世界是分明的,
痛与快乐是放在天平两端的砝码,永不相交的
我还一度认为齐秦只是一个无病呻吟的纨绔子弟
但随着年纪的增长,这句话就象话梅一样,味道开始慢慢的融化

吃冰淇淋的时候是快乐的,但增肥的痛苦也是存在的
美容瘦身的快乐是显而易见的,但挨刀抽脂的痛苦也是难以忍受的
纯粹的快乐只是传说中的海市蜃楼罢了
(有感于自己电脑上网打游戏,其乐融融,
结果电脑染病毒,被迫清空硬盘,重装系统之事件)

Thursday, March 11, 2004

我的小老板

我和我小老板(也就是我的Direct Reporting Manager)的关系一直不错
(我一般管Group Head叫大老板)
大家平时都特贫的那种
他是个在韩国出生,但在加州长大的壮汉
他身高6尺,大约1米83的样子
据说可以卧推超过300磅
还据说可以在2分钟内做超过100个俯卧撑
真是俺的榜样啊

今天他飞到客户哪里去做presentation
当然所有的slides都是俺做的
做完之后给我打电话,说有一个slide上出现了很大的笔误
我居然写了"invest in MBS/CMOs to avoid negative convexity"
这句话根本就狗屁不同
就好比说你应该多吃肥肉来减肥一样
convexity这个词其实应该是carry

老板这么一提,我心里扑腾一下,知道损我的话马上就来了
谁知道他话锋一转
接着说其他的slide都非常好,整个presentation很成功
还赞我兢兢业业,劳苦功高
我在电话一端一听,马上乐的花枝乱颤
我呵呵的还没乐玩,他就来了这么一句:
"I guess you are not as dumb as you look"

我就知道他狗嘴吐不出象牙
防了半天还给他来了个偷袭
而且这句话也非常狠毒啊
我即不能肯定也不能否定
有点郁闷

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

Something that you should not miss

The best part of CNN.com is its OFFBEAT NEWS section.
Its entertaining value is unparalleled.
I believe it should be a crime (up to 10yr in prison & $200K in fine) not to follow this section in a religious fashion.
Today's news just showcased its finest quality.
www.cnn.com/2004/US/South/03/09/million.dollar.bill.ap/index.html
(Edit: the link was removed from CNN website, the same story can be found at
www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2004-03-11-million-dollar_x.htm)

Is Option "The More The Better"?

Option是有价值的,而且价值永远为正值,
所有的Asset Pricing Model都这么假设
但我现在觉得其实现实中不是那么简单
比如说吧,如果周末活动的option太多了,福利可能反而下降了

就我而言,经常要在各个option里衡量
到底出去玩还是家里玩?
到底看书还是看电视?
到底学习还是打游戏?
到底是打电话还是上网去写email?
到底去骚扰那个哥们?
女朋友起床没有,到底现在打电话,还是等一下?
。。。。。。。。。。。

就算选择了打游戏,也很头痛
打电脑游戏呢,还是xbox,还是ps2?
就算决定打xbox了,玩什么游戏呢?赛车的?打枪的?还是体育类的?
最可怕的地方是,人都喜欢效用最大化
我很可能最终什么也没干,
花上几个小时坐在沙发上苦想什么应该会让我最快乐
周末宝贵的时间反而都浪费了

这个现象在周日晚上最明显
周末要完了,我难受啊,我急啊
我想最大限度的利用这个晚上,想找到最佳方案来获得快乐
但就是因为我象个机器人一样去考虑衡量每一个option,反而是屁都没干
但越是看着时间流逝,人就越急,就越是尝试找到最佳选择
结果就象asimov笔下的机器人一样瘫痪了
陷入思想中不可逾越的怪圈

其实没有什么option有时反而更能让你享受生活
如果我只能看书,或者打游戏,或者打电话,或者。。
生活可能更缤纷。。。。厚厚

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

我的同事

今天我旁边的黑mm给我绘声绘色的描述了她昨晚瞎子约会(blind date)的经历,说到关键之处要么怒目圆睁,要么嘎嘎大笑,非常投入。
我听得自然也不亦乐乎。

她是我们组里比我唯一junior的两个人之一
另一个是个白人小伙,但和我干的东西不大一样,没有什么接触
所以她是我唯一可以指手画脚的人

有这样一个人是幸福的,尤其对于我这个长被老板虐待的人来说
知道并且看到你身边有一个比你更可怜的人,那是一种很残忍的快感

当然我也没有怎么虐待她
唯一的一次就是她老不接组里的电话
我当时又特别忙,正在火头上,就冲她大吼一声:"Pick up the God damn fucking phone..... please!!!"
现在还依稀记得她眼里的慌张和嘴角的欲言又止

不过现在我们很铁
她老是和我说她今天去哪玩了,昨天去和谁约会了
尽管我很多时候完全不感兴趣
我还是总面带笑容的说:"oh, that's interesting"

我真他妈的虚伪

胡言乱语

语言是很有意思的东西

比如说“almost certain"这种说法,老美经常说,但我总觉得you are either certain or not certain. You can't be 50% certain, nor can be over-certain. If you are half certain, then you are uncertain. To me, almost certain is just not certain.

Another interesting word is "playoff". Doesn't "playoff" supposed to refer to the time to rest and stop playing?? But every NBA, NFL, NHL players are dying to play in the Playoffs. Why don't they just changed the word to "playon"?

中文里的有些词也很有意思。
比如说“反革命”这个词,反革命嘛,就是反对革命。但如果某人现在去中国闹革命,估计法院还是判他反革命,尽管那个人一点都不反对革命,是100%pro-革命。

“反动”也是一样的道理。政府总说民运“反动”,尽管民运分子比谁都喜欢搞运动。

很多东西不禁考究,但胡思乱想的乐趣也是有的。

Monday, March 08, 2004

天下之大,无奇不有

今天看到一个我觉得非常匪夷所思的新闻
发现这年头真是什么都鸟都有啊

----------------------------------------------------------------------
窃贼行窃只得两把菜刀 就地拉堆大便以泄愤

http://www.sina.com.cn 2004年03月08日14:06 温州都市报

  市区读者王老伯:昨天,我家遭到小偷光顾,小偷除了偷走两把菜刀外,还留下了两堆大便。
  昨天上午6时左右,我准备去做早饭时,发现厨房里的菜刀不见了。抬头看看门窗,发现门窗都被人打开了。我和老伴急忙检点家里的物品,发现除了菜刀之外,其他财物并没有丢失。正当我们老伴松了一口气的时候,却发现小偷在我家的冰箱旁和大门口留下了两堆臭烘烘的大便。
  据邻居分析,小偷是在前天晚上从我家一楼的窗户爬进来的。由于没偷到什么贵重的物品,小偷可能觉得不甘心,触了霉头,所以就给留下了一堆大便以泄愤。林乙整理
----------------------------------------------------------------------

我觉得最有意思的是这两堆
一个小偷,两堆大便
嗯。。。。。。。。。。。。。

Friday, March 05, 2004

How would Martha Stewart decorate her jail cell?

Fantastic News: Martha Stewart Got Busted!!!!
She is found guilty on ALL accounts and could face years in jail.
在Bloomberg上看到这个消息的时候,我高兴的一下子从凳子上蹦起来,大叫:“Got ya, biatch!!!!!"

Martha Stewart 是这个世界上让我最讨厌的人了
真是恨之入骨啊
这种恨,老实说,发自内心,非常纯洁,
100%天然合成,不含任何杂质和防腐剂

现在说说我痛恨她的理由吧:

我最反感的就是她的虚假,假的流油
在电视上,成天就柔言细语,好像特别善良
生活中,对下属动辄骂娘,为了一杯咖啡能把她秘书骂半个钟头的那种

虚假还不止,她还贪
一个身价过10亿美金的超级富豪,
居然为了区区10万块钱去搞内部交易
我真不懂啊
她居然要求她上市公司的CFO把她做头发的费用,喝咖啡的费用,和买化妆品的费用打到公司里去报销
这么cheap的人真是打着灯笼都找不到

她不止贪,她还愚蠢
愚蠢的人是无可救药的
她偷偷卖出股票之后,还和她朋友吹嘘说:
“有这样的给你内幕消息的broker真是爽啊”
结果就是这句话给了控方很强的火力支援

这么一个虚假,贪婪,和愚蠢的人,真是给拉去打靶都不为过
在辛普森案子之后,总算现在又对美国司法制度多点信心了

Thursday, March 04, 2004

Sweet (or maybe not) Memories (Brother Edition)

我哥帮我把《无间道》一二三都买了
哈哈,很开心啊
有点怀念我哥那傻乎乎咧着嘴笑的样子了
嗯。。。都快六年没见了

记得很小的时候,我们俩都特傻
那时我大概十岁吧,四年级
我哥应该是初一
我爸给我们买了套军事丛书,
里面有讲坦克的,弹道导弹的,飞机的,大炮的各个专题
其中有一本专门讲特种兵的很让我们哥俩着迷
里面说各国的特种兵都要通过特殊的训练
比如说丛林生存训练啦,身体极限训练啦,武器格斗训练啦
我们都看得很兴奋,立志成为一位特种兵
至于为什么要当特种兵,当了干什么,我们完全没有兴趣

书里说一个合格的特种兵都可以在10秒以内,以三种以上的方式,不发出大响声的把歹徒毙命
为此我和我哥就老琢磨怎么才能做到这一点
上课的时候,每次那个我最恨的语文老师转身在黑板上写字的时候
我就在下面思考怎么进行攻击才能让这个讨厌的人在10秒以内丧失战斗力
好像最终想到过两种罢了

不过我们有一项是真的练过的
那就是所谓生存极限训练
书上说一个合格的特种兵都可以在极短的时间内喝下大量的水,这样可以很长一段时间不再喝,以提高作战效率和生存能力
(现在回想起来,觉得有点扯淡,毕竟人不是骆驼啊)
有一天,我哥决定要训练一下我们
他把一个大可乐瓶子(就是1.25公升的那种)里面灌满了自来水
让我在1分钟内喝光
否则,他不会承认我是一个合格的特种兵

我马上喝,义无反顾的喝呀
那时我才四年级,小胳膊小腿的
我张开嘴,抬起头,死命往里灌
炎热的空气,冰冷的凉水,刺眼的阳光
人毕竟不比下水道
我喝到后来实在是不行了,就开始吐
我记得很清楚
那天中午吃的是西红柿炒鸡蛋
花花绿绿的吐了一地,有点唯美主义的感觉

从此之后,我们俩谁也没有再提起过极限训练了

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Sweet Memories (Soccer Edition)

一说足球,就勾起以前很多回忆

当时上大学的时候,班上全部男的凑钱买了一康佳20寸的彩电
(康佳真不是什么好东西,遥控器的按钮没摁两下就噼里啪啦往下掉)
每次有球赛,两个人住的宿舍里能挤下二十多个小伙子
个子小的,头发短的往前排
块头大的,头发蓬松的就往后排
非常讲究,非常科学
最逗的是每次看到一半,肯定有人会大喊一句:
“操,谁他妈刚才放屁了?”
然后大家就嘻嘻哈哈乱作一团

看球的时候,说脏话成为一种时尚
看在气头上,(就好比九六年亚洲杯对日本那场)
大家就争先恐后的用各地方言骂
有一个哥们不会方言,但非常有创意
经常就是什么“戚务生(当时主教练)是不是吃屎吃的便秘了?”
“XXX是不是吃屎的时候没加盐,腿肚子打软啊”
反正不管那哥们怎么说,都围绕个屎字,层出不穷

在宿舍里看球乐趣远大于在家自己看
所以有时候就算周末,我还特地从家里跑到宿舍和他们一起看球。
现在很难再有那种感觉了。

哀痛莫过于心死

早上一边吃早餐,一边看新闻
突然发现国奥刚刚又输给韩国人了
熟悉的标题自然会勾起熟悉的回忆
我习惯性的又去寻找内心的悲伤和愤怒
尝试挤出一两句脏话或者一两滴眼泪来抒发自己的感情

可惜的是我象一个六十岁的老尼姑一样六根清净
我没有任何感觉!!!!!!
没有愤怒,没有失望,没有悲伤,没有发狂
我就是没有任何反应,一丝一毫都没有

我对此感到很恐惧
因为我发现这一天终于到了
我对中国国家队真正失去兴趣的一天终于到了

这么多年,中国足球就像一块大奶酪一样吸引着我这只小老鼠
在美国之后,就算我隔着个太平洋吃不着,
但从网上的文字里闻到都香
这么多年不论多失望,一直深深的热爱着国家队

但估计什么东西都有个极致
现在我就过了这个点儿
也许这是因为失望的累积效应发生了作用
也许我真的年纪大了,大到麻木不仁了
也许中国足球就是个扮相清纯的婊子
爱着这么多年,才发现上了当
反正。。。。。。爱怎么着怎么着吧
我不再关心中国国家队了

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

The Return of The Dream

今天早上公司CEO给全体员工的信里宣布,我们Executive Committee中的一员,杰弗.范德比尔,曾经的COO和Head of the Capital Market,刚刚成为新泽西Devils冰球队的老板,要离开公司去管理球队了。Bloomberg同时也报道了。

牛啊。。。这要多少钱啊。。真是天文数字
原来给人打工也可以打成这样的啊
我们组里的所有打工仔,打工妹们都兴奋异常
俺的梦想就是拥有一支足球队,买卖球员,管理球队,争夺冠军,多爽啊。。
以前一直都不再做这个梦了,觉得实在没戏
现在好了,(双目含泪,做感情汹涌澎湃状)
梦想啊梦想,失散多年的梦想终于又回到俺的怀抱了。。
(音乐起,掌声跟上,气球和鸽子马上接着放)
(开始陶嚎大哭)
我太高兴了,资本主义万岁!!!!!

Monday, March 01, 2004

看完那个自恋帖子后.......

看完这个帖子之后我差点哭了,眼泪在我眼眶里打转,
看到我们伟大的祖国后继有人,我高兴啊!!!!
这么好的帖子,而且作者这么年轻
格外引人注目啊
大学刚进就如此,以后要当了博士
啥她不能干,啥她不能做呢
比我强太多了,我感到惭愧。
罢了罢了,我没脸见人,愧对祖国啊。

自恋女神

吹嘘有两种:一种是通过他人的吹嘘,一种是自我吹嘘。

高手都喜欢第一种,象什么出钱收买记者的手段就为一例。丁春秋,东方不败,任我行,还有一些伟大领袖们都是很擅长这类吹嘘,吹捧的。 但网上比较难使用第一种手段,除非你用大量的马甲。但IP这东西很烦人,马甲 一般不容易穿牢。 所以,只能退而求其次的来第二种了。 但直接的说“我很美,我很帅,我比你们都牛逼 ”是不符合中国传统美德的, 所以网上的高手都是间接的自我吹嘘。。。有时候自恋之情流露的让人热泪盈眶。。。 下面就是我今天看到的一个帖子,好贴啊,应该多多学习。
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
向各位求助:这个问题太尴尬了!
来美国不到半年, 已经被无数次地问过这样一问题:Do you have a boyfriend?
每当我回答没有时,接下去的一个问题便是:Why not?
Case 1:
在今年寒假回国后返回美国入境时, 碰到一个很有意思的immigration officer.
He is an overseas Chinese. He complemented me by saying my oral English is very good. And then he asked me why I spoke such good English. I just smiled. He said, "I know why. You have got an American boyfriend!" I told him I hadn't. But he continued with asking me whether I havea Chinese boyfriend or not. I told him no. He asked me "Why not getting one 'cause you are such a beautiful girl?" I just smiled and went.

Case 2: 昨天我碰到了一个很令我尴尬的韩国男人。
Yesterday I met one of my classmates, a Korean young man. He first asked me to lend him a pen and then tried to start a conversation with me. He asked me whether I live with my boyfriend. I told him I live with my roommate, a Chinese girl, also. He then asked me" Do you have a boyfriend here in US?" I told him no. He continued with"Do you have a boyfriend back in China?" I told him no. "Why not?" I just said I am too young. I am only 19. He then teased me with" Do you have a girl friend?"
ft,居然怀疑我的sex orientation!受不了!My face suddenly turned red. He apologized immediately. Then I asked him back whether he has a girlfriend or a wife.(哼!他问我这样的问题, 我凭什么不问他呢?)But to my surprise, he said, " If I don't have one, would you be my girlfriend or wife 'cause you are such a beautiful girl?" I was so embarrassed.

In fact, I have come acrossed dozens of people in US asking me these two questions. I don't know how to answer. 在美国是不是像我这样还没谈过恋爱很不正常啊? Anyway, I think I am too young, I want to concentrate on my study and get into a top graduate school.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Friday, February 27, 2004

惊魂一梦

昨天晚上做了一个很古怪的梦

在梦里,我是一个初中的老师
就在我以前上学的初中里教书
具体我是教什么的,不记得了
反正课间休息的时候,闹闹哄哄的一大堆孩子问我这问我哪的
我就烦的不行,自己回到办公室里休息
不知道怎么搞的,再一转眼我的长裤不见了
我一个人在办公室里就剩下一条线裤了
(那是冬天,特别冷,我穿两条裤子)
我就找啊,找啊,抽屉里,凳子下面,垃圾桶里,连暖水瓶里都找了,就是找不到
我急了。。这时候小同学们来敲门了,要我去上课了
我一看墙上的钟,可不么,都迟到十分钟了
但我不能就这么出去啊。。多丢人啊。。。
我一边叫他们回教室等我,一边就琢磨怎么回事

神就神在这里了
我琢磨琢磨居然琢磨出来我在做梦了!!!!!
我是这么想的啊:
“这不可能啊,不可能裤子不见了啊”
“丢钥匙,丢手表经常丢,从来没有什么丢裤子啊”
“肯定有鬼,我不会在做梦吧。。。”
“为什么周围的东西突然看起来这么模糊啊??”
“我隐性眼镜一直很清楚的啊。。不可能看不清啊。。”
我当时就确定自己在做梦了
然后我就定了,没什么丢人的了
在梦里,我怕什么丢人啊

我把门打开,坚定的向教室走去
在无数孩子的尖叫和嘲笑声中上了讲台
我神情严肃地说:“各位同学,大家安静一下,不要慌张,因为现在我正在做梦,梦醒了,裤子就回来了。。”
然后我就醒了。。。。

这是我有史以来第二次在梦里琢磨出来自己其实在做梦
每次都是思想斗争的利害
醒来后发现相当费神

原本觉得做梦是好事,就跟免费好莱坞电影似的
精彩刺激,而且自己总是主角,美的很
现在我反而觉得老老实实睡个觉倒比什么都强

人生又完整了

我们公司有些人上洗手间习惯真是不好。比如说,你放厕板的时候起码应该手扶一下吧,虽然不用讲究到一点声音也没有,但别动不动就用脚一拨拉,就让之自由落体的砸下来,然后发出摄人心魄的一大声:“梆!!!” 我们公司的厕板不知道是质量好还是怎么的,沉的很,砸下来真是奇响无比。

今天下午,我都憋半天了,急急忙忙冲进厕所,脑子里还一个劲儿的琢磨客户问的一个问题。刚一切就绪来解裤子的时候,就听到静静的厕所里猛地来一响:“梆!!!!!!!!” 就好比哪个缺德的人在你耳边砸钵铙,地地道道的平地一声雷啊。我真是魂飞魄散,当时差点就给废了。不过也好,人生又完整了一下, 终于可以隐隐的体会到什么叫“吓得大小便失禁”了。

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

牙医和领带

今天牙齿不舒服,就想起我牙医了
他是一个六十多岁的白人老头
据说是干了这行都四十年了
(这个“据说”也就是据他自己说,他每次说起这个来都显得异常兴奋)
墙上琳琳种种挂了一大堆稀奇古怪的奖状证书

上礼拜在他那里有个appointment
等了半天之后,老头笑呵呵的飘然而至
大家马上半冷不热寒暄几句
老头说:“你这领带和我家里的一条特别象。”
我当时挺开心,因为那时我自己买的

这还要顺便说一下领带的事,
我那些同事闲着没事就喜欢对我品头品足
领带是他们的一个攻击点
他们有时候说我的领带丑,有时候夸我领带不错
但巧就巧在,他们说丑的,都是我自己买的;
他们说好看的,都是我女朋友给买的;
没一次落空的,出奇的巧。。。。
结果弄得我对自己选择领带的能力很没信心

结果那天老头这么一说,我心头大喜
总算找到知音了!!!
我强压内心的喜悦,微微一笑说:“你也喜欢?”
结果老头来一句让我现在还很痛苦的话:
“Nah, not really.... did you get that from the Korean Airline too?”

我当时几乎立刻喷血而死。。。。。。。一点不夸张。。。

时光飞逝,再回首从前,曾经。。。。

我在美国读书的时候,认识一帮铁哥们
现在在纽约,时不时的很怀念他们
一转眼,不知不觉的大家毕业都好几年了

前几天和一哥们电话上聊天
大家又是习惯性的缅怀在学校时的快乐时光
他来一句:“我操,时间过得真快啊,这不,我老婆和我结婚都四年了”
我听了哈哈大笑:“你丫喝多了吧,哪儿有什么四年啊,不就两年么。。。”
他嘿嘿一笑:“你再算算???”
我心里再一琢磨,马上一身冷汗,可不是么,真是四年了

时间过得太快了呀。。。怎么跟小偷一样
什么声也不出,嗖嗖往前跑啊

我记得我刚和这帮哥们玩的时候
也就二十出头,天天跟吃了药一样活力充沛
现在可好,俺也算奔三十的人了,
每天上一天班,撞一天钟的赖死赖活
奶奶个熊,这咋整的嘛??真可怕呀!!!!

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

下雪了!!!

很奇怪,现在还算暖和的纽约今天突然飘起了雪花
我早上走出地铁的时候,很是大吃一惊

说起雪花纷飞,我想起三年前去科罗拉多的洛基山玩的情景
那是六七月的样子
我朋友很神秘的说带我们去一个山坳里玩
要我们带点衣服,山里风大,有点冷
由于天热,我们都穿着T-Shirt,
但还是老老实实的带了点衣服,外套什么的
结果可好么,我们其实是来到了窦娥的故乡
那真是六月飞霜啊
山外面,热情洋溢,阳光普照
那个山坳里,却是大雪遍地,寒风凛凛
把我们给冻的(带的衣服屁事儿都不顶)
我那个哥们自己给冻的脸上肌肉都不受控制了
照相的时候,我让他笑
他就配合的笑,结果真把我乐趴下了
他那模样真是滑稽,似笑非笑,似哭非哭
还有半截鼻涕在脸上都不知道
现在每次回想起来,我还是忍不住一个人偷笑

Monday, February 23, 2004

A Sweet Thing

Cheese Cake到底是谁发明的呢?
真好吃啊。。。。
来纽约后,吃了无数次了,但怎么也吃不腻
每次吃起来都是摇头晃脑的
心里还一个劲的嘀咕:
“传说中的幸福大抵如此吧”
这东西还有个好处,特顶饱,吃一个半天不饿
现在下午四点一到,我就溜出去买个来填肚子
hoho

遥不可及的周末

上班之后对周末的渴望是与日俱增
按理说周末两天只占人生2/7的时间
但我估计聚集了5/7的快乐

我以前的一个同事对周末的期盼已经到了令人发指的境界
他说过的一句话让我现在还时常回味不已
有一次聊天的时候,他说他喜欢Wednesday
我不解,问为什么
他说:“Because tomorrow I can say tomorrow is Friday。”
我琢磨了很久才能体会他对周末的那种令人窒息的热爱

对我而言,我反而最讨厌周三
在周三,上个周末的美好回忆已经淡去了
下个周末呢,又似乎还是遥遥不可及
大早上还有一个极其早的meeting(一周就一次的)
结果人早起之后,又困又累,身心肉体双重打击
打倒星期三!!!!

Sunday, February 22, 2004

最Cool的名字

最近发现 ISAAC 是个很不错的名字,非常的牛啊
ISAAC NEWTON,经典物理的奠基人,数学,化学也非常了得,相当于当时科学界 的武林盟主啊
ISAAC ASIMOV,开创了美国近代科幻小说的新天地,他对于科幻小说就好比披头 士对于摇滚乐一样
我要以后有个小男孩,我也叫他ISAAC好了,没准也能开辟一个什么先河。。。
这河也不用太大,随便开一个就得了。。
嗯,就这样定了吧。。。。

Saturday, February 21, 2004

什么算是痛苦的事??

我一向认为世界上有三件事情是非常痛苦的:
(1) 搬家
(2) 发现自己把车钥匙给琐车里了
(3) 睡觉的时候,尤其是做美梦的时候,给电话吵醒

今天终于发现第四件事了,
(4) 上完厕所,突然发现厕纸不够了

Blog诞生记

突然发现很多人都些日记,才知道这原来是很时髦的事情
奶奶的熊,我也写!!
不知道为什么突然想到蒋介石
他是个水货,我一直这么认为
800万大军硬是打不过共产党
当然有一点我非常佩服他
他曾经说过:
“作为军人,就要复杂的思考,简单的生活”
我觉得这句话我也应该牢记在心
尽管我不是军人