Tuesday, June 22, 2004

My brief encounter with an Indian baby

On my plane back from CA, there was that baby....
He is a tiny Indian boy, sits one row in front of me and 4 seats away to my right. I was happy about the situation, since I thought I was at a safe distance away from the baby. But later on I just realized how wrong I was.

The baby was a monster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He was crying, screaming, kicking, spitting, and cursing the whole trip!!!! (close to 6 hours) (Well, not exactly cursing since he can’t even talk, but for me, worse than cursing)
I almost snapped; I almost got up and talked to the mother calmly: “sorry, I have to kill this baby now.” There are moments at which I wished I just drop dead right now right there. I even had vision of alien abduction. Taking away by aliens was definately a better alternative for me. I finally understand why some nannies or parents chocked their babies. I know it ain't right but you gotta do what you gotta do. I have to admit that if the baby was actually with in my reach, I really don’t know what would happen (I guess some of you guys may end up seeing me on some breaking news yesterday evening).

I actually found a way to squeeze some amusementsout of this horrendous situation. I tried to be a judge to rate each scream, base on how high the pitch is, how long the scream lasts, and how loud it sounds (somewhat like Simon in the American Idol). The highest score I gave out yesterday was 9.6. You know, I am as picky as Simon and I don’t give perfect scores.

I always believe that the baby’s crying is self-defense mechanism. The sound is designed to be so annoying and discouraging that even the fiercest animals can’t approach the baby within 100 yard radius. If I were the animal yesterday, I would have ate my own brain out than got any closer to that baby.

I fucking hate babies on the plane!!!!!!!!!

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