Wednesday, September 29, 2004




Friday, September 24, 2004



目艮目青有 亚千白勺土土..光
.................丿田 ........月攵

Wednesday, September 22, 2004


I am tired physically. I am exhausted mentally. I am on the verge of a complete breakdown. (Oh God, am I dying? My stomach hurts! I can’t breath! I must be dying!!! Damn, haven’t seen the movie [Napoleon Dynamite] yet. I hate to die young. Wait a second, am I just too hungry? Is the tie just a little too tight? OK, take a deep breath. Hmm.. I guess I am not dying then. Somewhat disappointed though.)

The workload eventually catches up with me. I can no longer afford fooling around at work now. Now I need to bring my “A” game to the table to please the people around me. My brain has to run at its full capacity to learn and grow to meet my boss’s high-but-reasonable expectations. I finally have to pay the price for my previous three years of underachievement. I could be so much more polished and resourceful if I took the job more seriously during the past several years. I have to admit that I feel more or less regretful at this very moment. From now on, I have no choice but to elevate my work-spirit level from Blue to Red (please refer to the Homeland Security Advisory System for more clarification). I will change for the better; I promise!

(Does it mean no more XBOX? Hell no, are you kidding me?)

Monday, September 20, 2004

The Movie - [Collateral]

Just saw it last Friday night and really liked it. [Collateral] is more than just a movie. It only not tells you an action-packed story, but also teaches you something about life. If you haven’t seen the movie yet, stop right here (warning: possible spoiler ahead!) and go to watch it in a movie theatre. You won’t regret it.

The story goes like this: Max (Jamie Foxx), a cab driver in LA, is trying to make a living by doing the right things in his life. His car is well maintained, ultra-clean. His attitude is great, both toward life and work. He is an excellent driver, extremely knowledgeable about various routes and traffic conditions. However, for whatever reason he is still just a cab driver that tries to make a living. One night, he meets an unusual customer, Vincent (Tom Cruise), who offers him $600 for one night cab service. Max decides to take this seemingly simple but lucrative job. However, Vincent turns out to be a professional contract killer, who is on a quest to kill 5 people for the night. That is where the real excitement starts. Max now is facing all the dangers that he has never faced before, the professional hit man, the underground mafia, and the relentless LAPD. Can Max survive all these? How would the entire story unfold? You better find out the answers yourself.

Here are the things that I learned from the movie:
  1. Being nice is not always enough.
  2. The best way to solve a problem is to face it directly without fear.
  3. A dream is only a dream unless you really start working on it.
  4. We shall identify our friends and foes unambiguously, then treat them accordingly.
  5. Self-confidence is our greatest asset.
  6. Life is not about planning. It is all about improvising.
In the end, Max exists in every one of us. He is the epitome of our society. However, just like Max we all have the strength to make a difference once we are truly determined.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

[Dream On] by Aerosmith

This song has been in my mind for quite some years, even though I’ve only heard it bit by bit couple times. The first time I heard it was approximately 8 years ago when I was watching a NIKE commercial on TV. That commercial was brilliantly made. Very powerful and emotional. The song was the soul. The second time I heard it was in the movie [Miracle]. Once again, I loved it. The song is like the devil’s music, constantly popping up in my head now and then. Today it just did again. That’s it. I will download this song tonight into my IPOD and enjoy it for the rest of my life.

Here is the lyric:

Every time that I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face getting clearer
The past is gone
It went by like dusk to dawn
Isn't that the way
Everybody's got their dues in life to pay

Yeah, I know nobody knows
Where it comes and where it goes
I know it's everybody's sin
You got to lose to know how to win

Half my life's in books' written pages
Live and learn from fools and from sages
You know it's true
All the things come back to you

Sing with me, sing for the years
Sing for the laughter and sing for the tears
Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you away

Dream on, dream on, dream on,
Dream yourself a dream come true
Dream on, dream on, dream on,
and dream until your dream comes true
Dream on [7x]

Monday, September 13, 2004


[Fight Club]里的Tyler Durden说过这样一句话:“Self-improvement is masturbation; Self-destruction is the answer.”这句话具体什么意思,那就仁者见仁,智者见智了,你最好自己去看看电影再琢磨琢磨。但在他眼中,Self-improvement和Self-destruction在根本上是对立的。但我这两天突然觉得两者之间的距离其实远没有我们想象得那么远。自身提高的过程其实也就是自我否定的过程,简单的说也就是一自虐的过程。自虐其实比较危险,要是弄得不好,就虐出一个毫无自信心,depressed的潜在自杀者,但一旦虐好了,那可就是醍醐灌顶,更上层楼。比如说我从前从来不跳舞,嘿嘿,就是因为不太会跳,特没自信,每次和朋友出去,一说到跳舞就浑身不舒服。但这几天,在未婚妻的鼓励下,还居然跳了好几回舞,结果我居然还越跳越喜欢,现在在地铁上听到什么都想扭一把。困扰我多年的跳舞恐惧症现在也治的差不多了。再说说健身吧,我以前尽管也总想变成个肌肉男,但总觉得去健身房太麻烦,而且每次特别怕健身后那种浑身又酸又疼的感觉。但不久前,在一哥们儿的教唆下,加入了一个gym,现在每礼拜也居然练的不亦乐乎,身子骨也壮实很多。所以我总结出这么一点:To improve yourself is to do the things you feel least comfortable with. 现在我正盯着桌面上的这本FAS 140呢,奶奶的,我盯着着封面都盯了5分钟了,这破东西是我最不想看的,但根据我的逻辑,嘿嘿,这一关恐怕我是逃不掉的啦。

Wednesday, September 08, 2004



第一条,平时要多锻炼,勤上gym,理论上讲运动可以让人更精神,真正效果嘛,就因人而异了。第二条,咖啡泡茶,这东西很提神,主要原因倒不是因为咖啡因什么的,而是因为它实在太难喝,属于是喝一口就打一哆嗦的那种东西。 第三条,多喝果汁,维他命不仅提神,还增强免疫力,好东西啊。第四条,千万别穿的太暖和,电脑前,吃饭后,一暖和,准睡着。所以穿得越少越好,条件允许的话,不妨试试穿着裤头背心对比一下。第五条,发现困的时候,赶快找同事聊天,而且一定要站着聊,这样越聊越精神。第六条,那圆珠笔用力戳自己的手心。注意,动作要领就是用力,要做到快,准,狠。第七条,去洗手间用冷水泼脸。越冷越好,而且出去的时候不要把水完全擦干,40%左右的湿度最好,碰上办公室的空调这么一吹,很提神。如果有必要的话,用双掌左右开弓的抽自己几下嘴巴子,可以增强效果150%左右。 第八条,去自己的股票账户看看Account Balance,这招最近对我非常好用,每次都是看得汗流浃背,一点也不困了。

Tuesday, September 07, 2004



Friday, September 03, 2004



1,某女ID,自我简介: Where is my soul

2,某男ID,自我简介: looking for female friends to kill
这又是一个不看不知道,一看吓一跳的东西。我当时的反应立马就是:“What the …. ?!”我知道德国有个变态,常年登报纸去找人来吃,真想不到也中国留学生里也有人上网去找女的来杀啊。我不由点了一下他的ID,终于看明白了后,又是长舒一口气,原来最后是time!

3,某女ID,自我简介: I open my heart for you

4,某女ID,自我简介: Fragile Heart

5,某女ID,自我简介: I’m waiting for you for 27 years
这个也很恐怖,原来这个世界上有个等我等了27年的人,而我确完全不知道!!!我也就刚刚27岁,换句话说,她应该在我刚刚出生,甚至我还在我妈肚子里的时候就开始等我了。Hmm… That’s pretty freaky. 我大概应该给她写封信吧,好歹她也是等了我27年的人啊。Let me think about it.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Lucid Dream -- Free Your Mind

第一次听到Lucid Dream这种说法,还是我女朋友告诉我的。大约一个半月前吧,New York Times上有一片文章专门介绍了这个东西,我女朋友看了之后觉得很有意思,就很兴奋的与我分享。但当时我还是糊里糊涂的,也不大明白到底是什么意思,反正不就是做梦么。第二次碰到这个名词,是在一部名为 [Waking Life] 的动画片里出现的(也是我女朋友买的DVD)。这部片子总体来说非常另类,反正我们还没看完呢,很有点哲学的味道,其中通过主角与他人的对话,阐述了很多稀奇古怪的哲学,科学,和道德伦理上的概念,其中Lucid Dream也是其中的一个话题。那到底什么是Lucid Dream? 通俗的话说就是Though some properly-designed training and conditioning to increase your awareness in the dream, and eventually develop the ability to recognize and control your dream while you are dreaming.

But some people may argue “So what? What’s the point of controlling the dream? It’s just the dream after all. It’s not real!”

I would actually answer these questions by asking more questions first. “How do you define dream and reality?” “How can you tell the difference between dream and reality? Don’t dreams always feel so real?” “How do you know that the time you believed you are dreaming is not the time that you are actually awake? Or vice versa?” Or the simpler question is “how are you so sure that you are not dreaming as of now?” For me the line between dream and reality can get really blur. Aren’t they both the result of the brain’s interpretation of various neural electronic impulses? We, humans, devote all our time and energy to live a better life, the life we narrowly defined as the time that we are physically awake with clear consciousness. This type of life only constitutes 2/3 of our natural biological life span. The worst part is that we are extremely vulnerable in this waking stage. Our life can be terminated in a split second, like being hit by a car or something. That’s why being able to control the other 1/3 of the life span sounds so appealing. Within this 1/3, we are free of harm, disease, gravitational limitation, physical laws, social pressures, moral conflicts, and all other things that are really pain in the ass in the so called “real world”. In dreams, we are the ultimate God! You can be anything you ever wanted to be, and you can do anything you ever wanted to do. You can be a professional basketball superstar, living large. You can drive the fanciest car as fast as you want on the highway with no cops around. You can even fly, with any kind of woman as your companion if you desire. You can even battle the aliens with your God-like power. Isn’t that just wonderful? I guess people always say “work harder toward a better life”, but someday it may well change to “dream harder toward a better life”. There are few people who actually harness this Lucid Dream power, and what they do all day long is just to eat, sleep, and dream (and getting fat as a side effect I presume, but hey, who cares? In dreams, people won’t judge you at all!). 这也就是中文里经常说的:“吃饱喝足了,没事干,天天睡大觉。”唯一的不同是这帮Lucid Dreamer们不是没事干,他们其实挺忙的,忙着做梦。

The toughest part of enjoying the dream is to realize that you are dreaming. Through my limited dreaming career, I only clearly figured that out twice. But both dream ended abruptly after I realized the truth. En… I should definitely try harder next time to stay in the dream a little bit longer. There are many little things to check to see if you are dreaming. (1) Does it hurt when you bite your fingers? (2) Can you turn of the light in the room? Does the switch work? (3) Can you see things clearly? (4) Can you pee freely without much difficulty? For me, the fundamental question that you need to ask is “Does the whole setup make sense?” If you got negative answers to all these questions, 99% of the time you are dreaming. Then, you can start doing some crazy shit that you always fanaticize to do, i.e., the South Park “Kick The Baby” stunt. (Just like what Morpheus said in [The Matrix], that would be the perfect time to “free you mind”.) Let’s all one day become a fat ass Lucid Dreamer!! Yeah!!!