Friday, October 29, 2004

Undecided Voters

It’s funny that in every poll regarding the presidential election there are approximately 6% undecided voters. En, interesting.... Undecided voters.... Hmm.... My question is “How the heck can you still be UNDECIDED when there is only four days left before the election??” Are you kidding me? I believe the ones who still claim to be undecided are simply trying to piss the pollsters off. Come on, after such long exhausting presidential campaign, you’d be lying if you haven’t heard both candidates at least 1,000 times on TV. For anyone on the US soil, regardless how apathetic you are toward politics, you should be able to form some kind of opinion already, one way or the other. If you still fail to make a choice and lable yourself as an undecided voter at this moment, you should be locked up in the Bronx zoo to be exhibited as “The Mysterious Brainless Humanoids”.

These undecided voters are like ghosts. They never die and keep coming back to haunt you. I bet you that even if a pollster conducts a poll on November 3rd, a day after the general election, there would still be around 6% of these legendary creatures. Surreal.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

My Dream Jobs (1)

I want to be a detective. I want to be able to make this world a better place by bringing those scum-bags to justice. I won’t be a good cop in the eyes of a D.A. (District Attorney) though, since I tend to get dirty and use excessive forces at times. I see myself ending my career in an internal affair investigation. I may die at the age of 40 due to the complication of a bullet wound that I suffered in my early detective years.

I want to be a movie star. Quick money and lavish life style are just too hard to resist. It’s wonderful to have fans cheering for you all the time, regardless what you do. But I hate signing autograph, reading fans’ emails, and appearing on those lame celebrity shows. I know my career is over when I inevitably made some comments on some of my ugly fans and some stupid reporters. To make the things worse, I may also comment a bit on our beloved government. I probably die of some strange cancer, which is the result of my previous unhealthy life style.

I want to be a theoretical physicist. Quantum Mechanics fascinates me. I don’t mind wearing a pair of thick glasses and spend 12 hours a day in a lab doing something, or even nothing. I want to be another Erwin Schrodinger, Niels Bohr, or Albert Einstein, the Greatest physicists in human history. However, I may most likely to be just an average Joe (Physicist Edition) because of my uninspiring IQ score and lack of creativity. I probably commit a suicide at the age of 45 as a result of prolonged depression. I could die alone, unmarried, and no kids (a dog and couple friends maybe). Oh boy, this is really really sad.

(To be continued)

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

蹩脚英语 (转载)

①If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.


②Please don't feed the animals. If you have any food, please give it to the guard on duty.


③Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.


④Fur coats made for ladies from their skins.


⑤Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.


⑥Drop your trousers here for best results.


⑦Specialist in women and other diseases.


⑧Welcome to the cemetery where famous Russian artists are buried daily except Thursday.


⑨We take your bags and send them in all directions.





Thursday, October 21, 2004


今天中午出去买饭的时候,发现一家钻石珠宝店门上竟然贴了一大堆GTA-San Andreas 的广告彩报,不禁莞尔。GTA就是Grand Theft Auto系列,历史上最卖座的暴力游戏,里面讲究的是黑帮里的杀人,放火,抢银行,并且要能够事后开一手快车来逃之夭夭。如果实在不行被警察包围了,就和他们疯狂驳火来杀出一条血路。所以很多所谓的“正义人士”都大力谴责这个游戏,说它有带坏小孩之嫌,呵呵。现在居然发现在珠宝店门上作这种游戏的广告,实在觉得有点幽默,不知道这个商店的老板在想什么。

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

To beg or not to beg, that's the question

If you have been riding the Subway in New York City long enough, you should have witnessed or encountered some quite amusing, or even sometimes bizarre and disgusting, things on the train. Beggars, a profession that probably is as old as our ancient Great Wall, are definitely something you see quite often. Quite frankly, I have long past the initial sympathy stage and in general I don’t believe in solicitation. I honesly think that in a city like New York, you really don’t have to beg to make a living unless you are absolutely lazy. However, I still like them. One aspect about them never fails to entertain me: the reasons or excuses they insist for their mishaps.

I have heard all kinds of reasons. Some are dull, some are creative, and some are even fantastic. Below are the ones that I can remember:
(1) My house was on fire. I lost everything.
(2) My house was on fire right after my property insurance expired for just two days. I lost everything. (I personally like this one a lot. The extra detail really helps.)
(3) I am a drug addict and I lost my job. I am going through rehabilitation right now and I am hungry. (I always want to ask him/her “If you are in rehab, how can you get out begging then?”)
(4) I got AIDS. All my money is spent on treatment.
(5) I got fired. I need to feed four kids at home.
(6) I lost my arm in an accident and lost my ability to work. (For the ones that are disabled, I am more than willing to show my sympathy by offering them a buck or two.)
(7) I am a veteran and the government denied my pension.
(8) I lost my job four months ago. Then I started begging to make a living. Thank you for your support that I survived these four months and finally got a new job in a super market. But the new job doesn’t pay well and I still have to beg to pay my rent. (This one is truly original and I almost laughed out loud in the train when I heard it for the first time.)
(9) I am trying to raise enough money to go to a school. Please help me.
(10) You guys may have seen me a lot of times. Maybe sicken tired of my voice and my face. OK, I won’t tell you my side of the story and please just spare me some change if you can. (I guess the best excuse is no excuse.)

The last one is what I heard yesterday. I was impressed by his creativity.
(11) Due to the poor weather condition, my flight is delayed. I have no extra money to buy anything to eat and please help me. (Great, we got a rich-enough-to-travel-but-too-poor-to-afford-a-meal tourist in town.)

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Haven't write for a while

I have to confess that I have sin. One of those seven cardinal sins of human nature: Sloth. I feel sorry for my loyal readers, if I have any. I will continue writing from now on and won't give myself any excuses, such as work or anything else. Actually as time went on in the past two weeks, I had more and more to say but less and less courage and time to write all them down. I tried to write a super long post to record my thoughts and entertain my readers, but I always stopped after I realized how long it could potentially take.

But today I just told myself: Hey, don't push yourself. Just write anything in your mind and be happy. haha.... I am happy now.

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

The Presidential Race is Wonderful!

I have been following this presidential election ardently for the past several weeks. I watched both the 1st presidential and the vice-presidential debate, listened to those political analysts on CNN, read online political Blogs, and even studied the much-criticized Electoral College system. One thing I can honestly say after all these: I love democracy!!!

Don’t get me wrong though. I am not claiming democracy is the savior to all the sins in this world. I do know that democracy has its serious limitations. In some cases, it can fail miserably. (Well, just look at this guy right now and you know what I mean.) The line between democracy and dictatorship can be unbelievably blurred sometimes. Average Joes, like you and me, are always the ones that got pushed around and abused. However, when you watch those guys debating on TV, you have to laugh and tip your hat for their effort. Take Mr. Bush for an example: during the first debate you can definitely tell that he is not well-equipped to handle situations like this. He simply couldn’t talk and eventually made a great fool out of himself in the first debate. There were moments he even had problems locating his own tongue. Nonetheless, he has tried his best to impress the viewers and attract potential voters. This is what I love about democracy: the EFFORT that’s been displayed.

It’s not about the final result. (As I stated earlier, poor average Joes always suffer and wealthy assholes always rule regardless how the government is constructed.) It’s all about the effort. Presidential candidates will get down on their knees if by doing that they can win more votes. They will try their best to please you. This is done in two steps. Step 1: Set up numerous polls to ask people various questions on all kinds of topics. Step 2: Candidates pretend to be your friend by saying the things majority of the people like or support. Repeat these two steps over and over, and you get a Presidential race. (Of course, you need to get dirty if you seriously want to win. Tricks such as demonizing or womanizing your opponent may help.) Candidates all invest a great deal in a race, including time, energy, and money. Candidates also have to face potential public humiliation and ridicule day-in and day-out. Politics is a tough business and no one wins easy. All these effort displayed by candidates to win the general public's heart is exactly the fundamental difference between democracy and autocracy. In an autocracy, the government bacially are uninterested in you, and two way dialogs are rare and discouraged. They genuinely don’t give a damn about how you feel. They won’t even attempt to lie to you to make you happy. They don’t do polls on sensitive topics. They don’t need your inputs. You are always the last one to be informed on any critical decisions. As a mater of fact, they don’t even want you to think (let alone the talking part), but rather they just want you to listen and follow. This effortlessness is something really bothers me. It hurts my pride and amplifies my insignificance, especially when pride is something that I don’t have much left and my insignificance is something that I hate people to remind me of.

Therefore, I like democracy better. The illusion of being important is simply beautiful.