Monday, April 25, 2005

Why am I here?

Haven’t written anything for a long time. Not that I don’t have anything to say, hehe, if you know me in person, you definitely know what I mean. But I have been doing some thinking lately, “Can my Blog be truly meaningful? i.e., can my thoughts/ideas make this world a better place?” Please, don’t laugh, I am dead serious.

I have to admit that I am still an idealist to some degree. I still have the dream to build a better world. I like to see people laugh and I hate to see those nasty things out there. When I start this Blog, I have a secret agenda. (Heehee, again, don’t laugh…) I want to influence others through my writing and to somehow make this a slightly better world. (Similar to what Ender’s Brother and Sister, Peter and Valentine, did in the book … of course, to a lesser degree.) I have strong beliefs in certain things and I want others to share such beliefs. I hope that my Blog can be relevant and thought-provoking and somehow bring some good to this world.

However, I am not too sure about it now. I still have things to say but I really don’t know if words alone will change anything in any noticeable way. People don’t change and they will keep believing what they choose to believe till they die. For example, I have so much to say about this “Anti-Japanese Products Movement” in China, but I didn’t write anything at all. NOTHING. ZERO. EMPTY. The reason is simple: I really don’t believe my writing will change this irrational movement in any material way. I don’t even think people care what others have to say. After witnessing some heated discussion on various BBS forums, I noticed that people take way more pleasure and interests in name-calling and cursing than anything else. I suddenly realized the fact that I simply can’t convince anybody for anything. This fact really hurts me. The world is a darker place than I thought and you can simply do nothing about it.

Should I keep writing, even if it doesn't do anything? I don’t know. I really don’t.

4 comments:

dotann said...

Don't be discouraged if people don't seem to be listening... :) Writing to influence or change people can be a futile struggle, you must have noticed it already, not every motto can start a revolution, most people are still drawn to the superficial things...

But following the same arguement, why do we need to read books by great (and not so great) authors? Are they trying to be "influetial"?

Somehow I think to change people is at most a secondary goal of these authors. The magical thing about reading was that it offers many different worlds we could not personally experience, different opinions and different ways of imaginations...

Anyways... The best wishes no matter what you decided... :)

mudflower said...

Can I say something as a total stranger reading your blog for a while?

First of all, I don't think it would be a good way to approach things like either/or, such as blogs would be meaningful if they could massively influence the attitude or opinion of people; or they would be meaningless at all if nothing seems to happen among your readers.

We live in a world that is much more complicated than expected. In the meantime, we have a world of different people with varous values interpreting the situated world, rational or crazy, idealistic or realistic, interesting or plain, thus being in the world and living in a life we prefer to live. What we can do to other people varies in reality and it is the same case in virtual world.

I guess the reason why i find your blogs interesting is not that it is influential or tends to be influential. Rather, I find it really a very cool way to present GTR as somewhat humourous and thoughtful person. Blogs are simply self expressing things.

Hope you will vomit your blog again, surely qualitative ones.
Cheer up!

GTR said...

Thanks a lot for all your comments, dotann and mudflower. I am pleasantly surprised to see some unfamilar faces. Your words definitely make sense and I think I will keep writing. :-) Express myself and let other see a bit of this world through my own eyes!

vv said...

I agree with ann regarding the reason why do we read: it's through reading various writers that one expands his/er understanding of life, its meaning and purpose; it's through reading that one expands his/er horizons. Therefore, the more we are exposed to different writings, the more varieties of human experience we can vicariously live through, the more we sympathize with others. That's why we consider writing (or "blogging" in the current context) important work that deserves supports and encouragement.

Don't let the "crossfire" on BBS induce you to self-blame for not being able to teach others profound life lessons at the moment, since most people tend to stick to their own stance rather than changing overnight. But do feel confident while concretely heading for your own ideal, for you never know when, and in what way your random thoughts would impress others, and thus change them more than you ever thought.