Friday, September 16, 2005

A Heart Attack Today, Almost

I went to this Chinese restaurant to get a take-out for lunch today. I’ve been to this place a hundred times if not more, and as usual I ordered the Fish Filets with Vegetables. While I was eating my lunch at my cube, I was utterly satisfied with the food until I saw something that I was not supposed to see.

A worm. (I really don’t know how to put it in a better way not to gross the hell out of my dear readers.) A worm!! A fucking worm!!!! It’s green; it’s dead; it’s about one and a half centimeters long; and it’s staring at me!!! I looked at it for five seconds. During this precious moment, I told myself “hey, you are Chinese, this is nothing, you’ve seen worse, you are 10 times better than those Americans, come on, let’s handle it in a civilized way, don’t make a big fuss out of it, just calm down, throw this little creature out, and finish the fish, you need the protein, you can do it” ……. Five seconds later…..

FUCK!!!!! MY FUCKING FOOD!!! THIS’S FUCKING GROSS!!!” I screamed in my cube. I started to sweat. My forehead all got wet. My hands were shaking. I could barely breathe. I could not even see well.

“What happened? Are you OK?” my colleagues were confused. “Just look at it yourself please” I was too weak to tell the truth. “Is it what I think it is?” a colleague asked after looking at my lunch box. “Yes, unfortunately it’s exactly what you think it is” “Then, you are fucked.” “Yes, unfortunately I am fucked.”

Then, an Indian VP came over and took a look. “Sweet, it’s a worm!” he was pleasantly surprised. “Sweet? I don’t know how it tastes, my friend, but I guarantee you that it’s not sweet. It’s a fucking worm!!” I was totally pissed at this worm-in-the-food situation.

The only female in the group finally asked the question that she wanted to ask for a long time “Did you eat the worm?” “NO, of course NOT!” “Oh, well….. sorry about the whole thing” But somehow her voice revealed a sense of disappointment.

Now after 5 minutes of rest and plenty of water to rinse my mouth, I calmed down and started to reflect what I’ve just did. A sense of overwhelming guilt just hit me. I am really ashamed of myself. The unbearable fact is I am no better than any Americans. I am weak. I am soft. I am a chicken. Fuck, I am not even a chicken. Even chicken eats worm. It is official now: I am a disgrace to my fellow country men. After spending 7 years in US, I degenerated to a level I’ve never envisioned: I act like a light-hearted American now. How I wish I could go back to those good old days, the time I could drink a bow of soup (with a fly drown in it) without a sweat.

1 comment:

Sunday04 said...

Did you watch the new show on Fox last night about a cook? It's a human finger tip on someone's plate! Absolutely disgusting!!! This is so much better... :)