Today is one of those annoying take-your-baby-to-work days. The crying and screaming cacophony makes me dizzy. To be honest, I can’t think of any legitimate reason to take a baby to work. “Baby” and “work”? Are you kidding me? Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve never seen any baby sitting in front of a computer working on excel spreadsheets.
I believe the presence of babies is very bad for the business. In additional to their superior ability to make noises and disturb the hell out of everyone around, they actually somehow lower your intelligence level substantially. Take me for example. When I first met Ethan, my friend’s 6-month old cute boy, I was like being brainwashed and couldn’t even tell right or wrong. I could sit in the couch several hours straight just pointlessly looking at Ethan, and laugh at any tiny thing that he does. I even laughed when he spits. What's wrong with me? I was so easily entertained that I felt like a zombie with zero intellectual capacity. What's really scary was that I was not alone. Everyone around the baby that day acted strangely. Something profound had happened in that house and I am pretty sure of it. The baby seemed to have some kind of mind control ability and just rendered all of us brainless. Now I think about it - wow, that’s creepy!
Babies are monsters!!! Remember you’ve been warned.